Ely edit 29 Jul 2021:
1-6 qps, depending on length and quality.
Potential +1 qp: if part of a series: o
Total: 2 qps each
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This tale is loosely based on true events from the mud...
Writing by Herold and Kryyg
Editing by Herold
Special thanks to Kedelacia for the Epilogue
Herold:
His wounds were beginning to wear at him. After all this time, all the betrayal, he could still feel the bond, could sense the direction in which Kedelacia was. He had already slain many trollocs to get this far, but the Blight itself was also wearing on him. He took a shot of yellow liquor and felt revitalized. Pressing on, he charged through another patrol of trollocs and fades, but was frozen dead in his tracks. There before him was the dreaded dreadlord, Kedelacia. He started to cry, but continued to press forward to take her life, tears streaming down his face. The last thing he saw was a big ball of fire.
Shuddering, Herold came awake. Another bad dream, le sigh. It was such a long time ago, but Kedelacia's betrayal was still getting to him. A glass of water would help, or maybe even a beer. He tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed and was stunned. His legs were replaced by hooves. He couldn't believe his eyes. He really needed that beer now. Struggling to walk over to the cooler in the barracks, he kept stumbling. Just wasn't used to these hooves...but he kept stumbling on. He really needed that beer and his head started to hurt. The pressure continued to build and a horn burst out of the side of his head! He howled and the rest of the Gaidin were startled awake. They mistook him for a trolloc...they didn't realize that his anger had transformed him into a minotaur. He blindly ran past them and charged through the door head first with his one horn, wailing like a goat.
Kryyg:
The trolloc slowly walked through the Pit of Doom, his snout up in the air smelling for foes and danger. The Dark One had beckoned him after such a long period of exile and disgrace. Shunned by the Dark side whom he had led his entire life in glorious combat.
Upon reaching the thinnest part of the seal shielding the Dark One from the earth, the trolloc Kryyg paused and looked around, wary of an attack. He sniffed the air again, his slow trolloc thought process trying to reason out why he was summoned. After all these years why now?!
KRYYG! I HAVE SUMMONED YOU BACK! YOU WERE ONCE A GREAT GENERAL OF THE DARK. YOU SHALL BE SO AGAIN. I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU A MYRDDRAAL ONCE MORE! WHAT SAY YOU?!
Grasping his head in pain as the voice pounded its message, the trolloc Kryyg grasped for a reply.
"A Myrddraal you say?! After all I have been through you wish to make me a mere Myrddraal!?"
YOU QUESTION MY GENERALS ?!!
Kryyg gasps as the angered voice questioned him in reply.
"I will come lead the Darkside again...but not as a myrddraal.....I wish to become a CENTAUR! With four huge hooves."
A long silence stretched out...until suddenly a dun mare appeared out of nowhere, racing towards the trolloc. It smashed into Kryyg knocking him unconscious. When Kryyg awoke he felt taller somehow...looking down he saw his hairy chest...but below it...the body of a dun mare! Dark One be praised! He was reborn a centaur!
Racing out of the Pit of Doom, Kryyg the Centaur comes crashing through Thakan'dar and the Gates of Night howling and neighing like a mare on a mission!
Herold:
After escaping from the Gaidin's barracks, he tried to get his bearings. His head was fuzzy and the night smelled different. The guardsmen were alert by then however and chased him. Howling like a goat, he continued to run from the guards and charged towards the eastern bridge. Once he rammed through it, he looked up. The night didn't seem so dark anymore. He continued to try to find his way out of the village he thought was called Daghain, but he suddenly stopped short. An awkward looking woman was ahead of him. He couldn't understand the language she used, but she kept saying Ple-something. Her face was hideous, but her hips were wide and inviting. He stopped to consider, but remembered something more important, the calling towards something important that had happened in the Blight. If only he could remember! But he knew it was there....somewhere. He rammed the woman threw the chest with his one horn and continued north.
Herold continued to lick away bits of that ugly woman’s ruined face. He laughed at that, thinking something so hideous could actually be also called ruined. It was strange to him, he was beginning to lose himself. He really didn't know what was funny anymore. He only had a mission.
I want to bear your children, Herold. You and I can lead the Tower and make the world good again.
Screaming, Herold continued to run north. He began to spit out the hideous woman’s rotten meat taste. He still knew that he was a good creature. He stopped to scoop up some clear water.
Kryyg:
NEIGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The Centaur Kryyg's terrible war cry echoed and reverberated through the Blight! The power....he had just ran...nay GALLOPED from Thakan’dar to the heart of the Blight.....without having to rest?! This must be the advantage the pink bags of blood and bone have over the weak trollocs. The skills and strength of Kryyg with the lower body of those blasted horses have combined a very effective weapon.. Suddnely, sirens and trolloc horns rang in the distance.
Hmm....I must still be wanted by the Chosen.
A bright flash of light appeared and a man with a limp wrist stepped through. Bryan....
"Turn back Kryyg or I’m going to have to be very mean to you!" yelled the Dreadlord Bryan in a high pitched squeal.
Great Centaur rage filled Kryyg, from his four hooves to his dark black hairy tail to his massive Centaur chest. He scraped his back right hoof a few times to get a grip then charged!
"Hey! Stop it!" screeched the Dreadlord. But it was too late! The Mighty centaur’s flanks forced the dreadlord to the ground. Massive titanium-alloy hooved legs trampled the dreadlord into a bloody mess of pink robes and bones.
YOU HAVE A MISSION KRYYG! A GREAT DISTURBANCE HAS OCCURRED IN THE WHITE TOWER. MESAANA HAS TOLD ME OF A TERRIBLE FORCE OF THE LIGHT HEADED TOWARDS THE BLIGHT. YOU MUST STOP IT!
NEIGHHH!! The mighty Centaur shook his mane and charged south towards Tarwin’s Gap leaving behind a trail of dust and a dead dreadlord.
Herold:
Remember that first time you lead me around the Blight and we killed trollocs? That's when I knew I wanted to be a Green. Smiling down at this naive girl, he could see that Kedelacia was going to be an effective warrior for the Light.
He woke up and vomited. The memories...they still burned at him. He found himself near a stream. He got up and scissor kicked in the air. He was forgetting things about his old life, and realizing his new self. All except Kedelacia...who was she?
Kryyg:
Charging towards the edge of the Blight, Tarwins Gap came into view. The mighty Centaurs stomach rumbled. Grrumble grumble.
Mmm im Hungry. I need me some fresh mea......straw!?!
NEIGHHH!! The Centaur spasmed falling to the ground.
"What is this?! I no longer hunger for fresh meat?! This was not part of the deal Dark One!"
DID YOU REALLY THINK I COULD TRUST YOU KRYYG? YOU SLEW THE CHOSEN JINX. AS USELESS AS HE WAS, HE WAS STILL A CHOSEN. YOU MUST COMPLETE THE MISSION AND I SHALL RETURN THE HUNGER OF FLESH AND BLOOD YOU SO CRAVE!
NEIGHHHHHHH!!!! The Great Centaur got back on all fours, his massive trollo-horse head looking around, nostrils flaring. Feeling betrayed, he realized he must complete this mission....and in the mean time, find some hay.
Lockshear...easy humans to kill and test out my new centaur skills. And plenty of straw should be available in the stockyards!
The Centaur charged towards the isolated northern town of Lockshear to hone his skills and satisfy his new hunger.
Herold:
Clutching his side, he could hardly tell his own wounds apart from Kedelacia's, until the last one. She had taken a life ending one in Tarwin's Gap. Racing there, he could sense her trapped inside the Master Torturer’s lair, but a fade was blocking the entrance outside. With a roar, Herold threw his weapon aside and grappled with the fade. Once he sensed her far away and being tended to, he broke the fades neck and ran away...
An odd memory. Was Kedelacia my friend or not? Herold continued to charge towards the Blight so that he could find out. Horses shied away from him and he was confused. He was once a skilled rider, but his own hooves were larger than the horses. He was tired from running all night and half the morning, and a horse would have been welcome. He charged the horse in the face for not carrying him. Laughing hilariously, he continued to run forward and found an awkward woman sitting on the road, badly wounded, pinned under a horse that appeared to have stumbled. She wore a blue shawl and kept pointing her finger at the horse stupidly. Part of Herold wanted to help her… he remembered helping women like her. But she oddly reminded him of one of the worst threats to the Tower ever sired by the Dark One. And he was still angry with the previous horse. He had more pressing concerns so he kicked her in the face with a hoof and continued north.
Kryyg:
Lockshear. I must find a weapon worthy of my Centaurness. My destiny and centaurian heart tells me I shall find this weapon in Lockshear.
Quietly creeping outside the gates of Lockshear..as quietly as a massive 4 titanium plated hooved beast can manage, Kryyg neared the open southern gate of Lockshear. He smelled militia.
"AGHHHH!!" yelled a poor villager.
"They have learned to ride horses! The trollocs have learned to ride horses!" yelled the villager as he ran into the city in panic.
NEIGHHHH!!! "I AM NO LONGER TROLLOC, I AM A CENTAUR! A NEW BREED OF THE DARK ONE! YOU SHALL FEAR ME AND MY TERROR SHALL BE KNOWN THROUGH OUT THE WORLD! STARTING WITH THIS TOWN!" roared Kryyg.
Three militia charged the centaur with quarterstaffs at the ready. Swinging his fist at the front most miltias face and a forward titanium plated kick to the groin of the second left only one remaining.
"I never feared you as a fade and I don't fear you as a horse trolloc now either!"
Horse trolloc?! Are all humans inbred morons?! HORSE TROLLOC?!
Anger surged inside of Kryyg like never before.
"I AM A CENTAUR FOOL!"
With that, the massive centaur charged the militiaman, and a bright hot white aura surrounded the Centaur as he impaled the militiaman who dissapeared....out of existance.
VERY GOOD KRYYG. YOU HAVE DISCOVERED YOUR FIRST TALENT. THE BALEFIRE CHARGE. USE IT WISELY
The Dark One is too generous. Now, to find some hay. The Centaur entered the city leaving two corpses behind and one militiaman wiped out of history forever...
Herold:
Run Kedelacia, he screamed. Surrounded in the Blight, she turned her horse around, knocking trollocs over and came back to him. She wouldn't abandon him.
He vomited as he ran. The old memories were tormenting him. What had happened in the past? Why was the Blight so important? He got closer to Fal Dara and saw a blazing fire. His hooves clattered as he entered Fal Dara, and he was met with cold glares. A woman screamed trolloc and ran away. Herold was instantly furious. He saw a feeble looking woman holding a badly burned corpse wearing an ugly black cloak with some kind of shrew on it. Herold could still read, if not understand. The cloak said "i am weir rar."
Herold shook his head, repulsed by the poor stitching and even worse taste, and yelled for directions to the Blight. The borderguards drew swords and charged at him, shrieking like girls. Herold's anger was unparalleled. He couldn't remember ever being angrier...or was there one time, when Kedelacia left? The thought heated him only more. He blacked out, but when he woke up, the mutilated corpses of humans were strewn all about Fal Dara. He shook his head and wandered around.
Kryyg:
"No! Spare me! I have remedies and cures for horses as well! I have given good poultices to the Cavalry for when their horses are injured! I can help you!" the wisdom of Lockshear screamed. He had slaughtered the entire city, save her and the grocer who had barricaded himself in his shop.
NEIGHHHH!! "A horse?! You think I am a horse?! Do horses talk wisdom?! Do horses SLAUGHTER ENTIRE TOWNS?!"
"I can help!" sobbed the Wisdom in a last attempt to save her pitiful life.
Kryyg raised his massive hoof above the wisdom’s head and brought it down with a loud KERSPLASH! Bits of bone and brain matter flew in all directions. Some pieces of bone were lodged between Kryyg’s hoove and its plates of titanium power. He tried to get the pieces of bone loose but came up short.
Damnit! Maybe I could have used her help!
Slowly leaving the village green strewn with dozens of corpses, Kryyg galloped to outside the grocer’s shop. Raising his two front massive feet, he knocked the door down.
"NOoo!! Don't kill me?! I have your secret weapon!"
The grocer pulled out two gleaming horse shoes and offered them up to the massive beastly centaur.
Kryyg grasped the two horseshoes curiously, one in each front hand, feeling power surging from them throughout his Centaurian body, from his hooves to his tail to his mane. With one swift movement he closed the two hooves around the grocer’s head causing it to explode like a melon under the pressure.
"I had barely used any force?! And his head exploded!"
Looking down at his new acquired blood soaked weapons Kryyg NEIGHED with such might that the crows outside feeding on the wisdom bits flew off.
Now to find this thread the Dark one spoke of.
Herold:
I've made my choice Herold. The Hall is corrupt. How can you even argue with me after I was punished by Mira, Mikaela, and Beverlae? The three stooges had me docked for doing my best to defend the Tower against fades and dreadlords. I was the only one to act while they sat around lazily in their chambers.
Herold awoke. The dreams were too much now. They were so strange and yet so familiar. Did Kedelacia betray him? Or did the Tower betray her? He rolled on to his side, vomited again, and got to his feet. He saw scattered corpses all around him. What had he done? He tried to find any living, and began to lose hope. He began to feel around his head and found that a second horn had sprouted. He truly was losing himself, and he despaired. This must be the Tower’s fault, he thought. Suddenly he heard a great NEIGGHHHH!! to the north. He felt an awkward familiarity with that noise. He disregarded stepping on and pounding in corpses’ faces and trotted out the Malkier gate to find this awkwardly familiar noise.
Kryyg:
Racing towards the dusty roads outside Fal Dara, the Centaur Kryyg slowed near the outer northern wall.
Something is amiss...no wall patrol...the gate is open but no gateguard...am I too late? Has the Dark One sent others also on this mission? Will I never get the taste of flesh and meat again?! AM I DESTINED TO EAT STRAW?!
A shadow crosses the Malkier gate entrance as Kryyg nears.
Massive horns lead off from the head of this shadow. Even this vague shadow seems to be familiar but apparently the Dark One failed to give Kryyg the brain of a centaur just its body. His trolloc brain, as vapid as it was, thought rapidly of all the creatures he knew about.
Suddenly a massive creature appeared. Large muscles and a massive head with horns decorated this beast. A MINOTAUR!
This is the threat the Dark One warned about?! This legendary creature born of psychosis and neuroses is the threat of the Lightside?! Mighty creatures Minotaurs are....once the Berserk Rage gets them it is said not even a pack of Worms can take one down.
Lucky I am not a pack of worms. But a Centaur.
Kryyg slowly approaches the Minotaur, tightly gripping his gleaming horseshoes....
Herold:
Bashing another scorpion into the ground, Kedelacia smiled at him and her ward against damage. That one wasn't even able to touch your armor, she said. It tried to hit you, but failed. We'll make a great pair.
Herold stumbled. Dreaming awake? He remembered going to find out about something in the Blight. And that familiar noise...
He stopped short suddenly. What was this before him? Half horse, half trolloc? Suddenly old memories hit him. Memories from his old Aiel parents, from columns of glass poles, of times that were once better, but became suddenly worse..even worse than now if you can believe it. This was the centaur. And suddenly he realized that as a minotaur, he had become just as evil.
Ripping off his magical minotaur horns, Herold screamed "I AM NOT A BEAST!"
They fought for hours before the gates of Fal Dara, but Herold felt conflicted. Is this not what Kedelacia wanted for me? Wasn't she right to leave the Tower? Is not this magnificent centaur with amazing hind legs my friend?
Kryyg:
Kryyg waited just away from the gate to see what the Minotaur would do. It was wielding no weapons that could be seen by the Centaur. The distance from the gate would also give him charge up time for his Balefire Charge. Just when Kryyg was about to charge, the Minotaur suddenly reached up to its head and pulled out its own horns!!!!
Blood streamed out from the minotaur’s two empty sockets....the Berserk Rage had taken the minotaur.
Clenching his teeth and tightening his grasp on his gleaming horseshoes, Kryyg charged at the minotaur who now wielded two bloody mythical minotaur horns....
Herold:
I found her beaten and bloody in the mountains west of Shayol Ghul. The trollocs had retreated and I had time to observe her wounds. Her eyes were not able to see me, but her voice was strong. "This is the last time I serve them," she said, and her body went limp. I wept...
The fighting went on for hours. We were both struggling, bleeding everywhere. It took the heart of a real champion to come out of this battle alive. But I looked at my opponent and thought - is he so different from me? Should we not be friends? I danced away from one of his mare kicks with gleaming horseshoes and stabbed him with one of my horns.
I was as surprised as the centaur. I suddenly realized what my magical minotaur horns could do. I could feel what he was feeling, understood his thoughts. He also could not do anything unless I commanded it. I decided to remove my magical horn from his side and set him loose.
The centaur seemed surprised. He stood up slowly. "My name is Kryyg.." he said. I replied, "My name is Herold. I seem to have been transformed into a minotaur."
We eyed each other awkwardly for several moments. "Why did you release me from your magical horn?" he finally asked. I could still sense that the beast was evil, and could feel the evil growing within me. But I had to have my answers.
"I need a ride north."
"I suppose I could accommodate you."
The centaur named Kryyg gave me a ride towards the Blight. I could see that he did not like me. He looked like he wanted to beat me up honestly. But he continued to bear me north. On the way, I saw many things. An old collapsing tower, some burnt vegetation and some trees that were still growing. I realized that I didn't care. Kedelacia was all that mattered to me.
In Tarwin's Gap, the ground churned beneath us. When I regained my feet, I saw that the lazy warder named Laertes and his new Aes Sedai was trying to fight some pathetic trolloc thieves. Quite a waste of time, I thought. But he got his fight, and as they were overwhelmed, he ran off and left that pretty Aes Sedai behind, leaving her to her death, quite nonchalantly.
Kryyg was on his feet by then, so I got back on top of him and we continued north into the Blight. Kryyg was my enemy, but he helped me past the initial dangers. A tree almost bit me in the face, but the centaur kicked the branch away in time. We looked at each other, and I could feel a friendship developing.
I got back on top of him and we went further into the Blight. "Wait, stop!" I yelled. This was the spot, right in front of the old stone gates of a trolloc keep. This was where Kedelacia was last I saw her. "How do I communicate with them?"
Kryyg looked at me strangely and replied, "What do you want to say?" Herold growled angrily because he thought he heard a racial slur at the end of Kryyg's statement, but couldn't be sure. "Tell them I want Kedelacia!" The centaur laughed at him saying that Kedelacia lived further north, and that he had no chance at seeing her.
Looking the centaur right in the eye, Herold said, "Listen brother, we have both been manipulated by the Dark and by the Light. The Tower is run by a bunch of idiot darkfriends and the Dark One is just plain evil! This is our chance to make things right!"
Sighing, Kryyg shrugged his shoulders. "I've been hurt many times by the Great Lord. He's unfairly taken a lot away from me, and now I'm finally gifted with a power of position."
Gingerly massaging Kryyg's shoulders, Herold whispered, "We can make things right again."
Smiling, Kryyg spurred on towards the black citadel!
Kryyg:
Shaking his massive trollo-horse head Kryyg was in a daze. One minute he was fighting this mythical creature, this wonder of the world, this...Minotaur, now he was aiding it in its quest. For some reason it had some special interest in Kedelacia. A fearsome Dreadlord to be sure, perhaps one of the best.
Think trolloc brain, THINK! What could be this Minotaurs obsession with Kedelacia?
Traversing Shayol Ghul is never easy. Traversing it with a massive minotaur on your back is even harder.
"I have not come here in ages.. I remember one time behind the irondoor, my Aes Sedai and I fought nine trollocs and the smith himself! My Aes Sedai.....Ke..Ked...Kedel....." said the Minoutar.
Now it made sense. This Minotaur must be Herold. The poor bastard who suffered such betrayal when Kedelacia came to the Dark. How must it feel?! Much like how I feel!
Suddenly the earth rumbled.
"SHADOW MAULERS!"
NEIGHHHHH!!! Kryyg roared and reared throwing the minotaur backwards, who deftly somersaulted into the air and landed on its hooves.
"We will take them together! Heehaw!" growled the Minotaur.
The Centaur nodded to the minotaur.
With lightning speed the minotaur stabbed one of the maulers with his horn and ordered him to slay the third mauler.
Kryyg, the mighty centaur born in the Pit of Doom charged the second mauler. Summoning such speed…a bright white flash of hot fire engulfed the shadowmauler as Kryyg collided with it, and the mauler disappeared!
NEIGHHHHHH!!! "BALE FIRE CHARGE FOR THE WIN!!!" roared Kryyg.
Meanwhile the Minotaur was hard pressed against the two remaining maulers. The mauler, sensing the power of the minotaur’s horn on his companion, had dislodged it from his belly. Now both were beating on the minotaur. The minotaur was wailing like a goat being beaten by an angry southern redneck.
Kryyg charged the maulers and trampled the two with his mighty titanium hooves. One of the maulers suddenly came up behind Kryyg, apparently not dead. The minotaur rammed him with his last remaining horn, right in the face.
"IN THE FACE" wailed the minotaur with a goat-like fervor unparalleled by anything Kryyg had ever heard.
"Let us proceed, Kedelacia lives just north of Shayol Ghul, in Thakan'dar."
Herold:
Rubbing his eyes, Herold could not believe himself. This centaur's charge results in balefire?! The afterglow still hurt his eyes. Being as silly as he is, he stupidly began to sing So Much for the Afterglow, but hastily stopped, remembering that people can get in a lot of trouble for singing songs out loud. Sparkle and Fade was easily the better album anyway. He also had some shadowmauler left on his face.
That color suits you, she said. Lying on the ground, he looked at his ruined body, and looked back up at her. How could she do this to me?
Shaking his head, he ignored the memories and simultaneously cleared the rest of the shadowmauler filth from his face and fascist policies about singing from his mind. There was FAR more important business to take care of. I'm gonna sing the songs I want to sing! I'm gonna do the things I want to do! He saw that the centaur was looking at him curiously.
"What?"
"You were speaking in an odd tongue, and then you passed out," the centaur said.
Sighing, Herold looked around at the desolation of Shayol Ghul, and the corpses around them. "Where do we go now?"
The centaur looked at Herold with brotherly affection and patted his rear. "You may ride here, and I will take you to find that esteemed dreadlord named Kedelacia."
Herold leapt atop the centaur and heard him grunt. He had forgotten how big he was now and apologized. Together, they rode north, towards Thakandar.
This area is called the Spine of the World. It is a dangerous land, but a good area to gain experience. But do not fear Kedelacia because I will protect you. The novice looked frightened but nodded. I trust you, Herold.
NEEIGGGGGHHH! Herold woke up, gripping the muscular thighs of the centaur. Such a strange memory…novices, and not even Accepted are allowed in the Spine anymore. There must be a good reason. If Kedelacia was my friend, would we have still become companions if she wasn’t allowed in the Spine? What else would we have done, sat in TV square yelling rar at each other? She would probably have sucked like so many others, and I would have ignored her.
"You fell asleep again. We're here!" Herold looked at the black citadel, but could not feel Kedelacia inside. "Kryyg, I am losing my old memories, you must help me get inside there so I can look for her." Before Kryyg could answer, three men walked out of the shadows right in front of them. Not men, but fades!
Skarn seemed pretty jaded, and Kesumi clung to the shadows so that he may escape quickly if needed. The third, Razhak, strode towards them purposefully.
"What are you doing Kryyg! You know what the Great Lord sent you to do!"
With great loathing, Herold jumped off of the centaur and stabbed Razhak in the throat, but Skarn and Kesumi, seemingly out of nowhere, were sneaking around him and stabbing him with sharp objects. Wailing like a goat in heat, he looked back and saw the centaur pawing the desolated ground.
NEIGGGHHH!! The centaur charged forth and balefired Skarn out of existence! Kesumi realized he was no match for either of them and began to wrap the shadows around him. Kryyg laughed and grabbed him with both of his powerful arms and began to trample him. Herold stood up, ignoring the small cuts Skarn and Kesumi had given him and watched as Kryyg trampled the last fade into the dust.
Kryyg:
The mighty centaur Kryyg wiped the remains of Kesumi's pasty pale white face on the rocks outside the Black Citadel.
NEIGHHH!!!!! "This is what leads the darkside now?! All three were still sucking on Aginor's tit when I was ruling the world in the Dark Ones name! Are you hurt Minotaur?"
"Tis a flesh wound" replied the Minotaur.
Thunder rumbled ahead and lightning flashed in the sky.
"Well let's get on with it, can you walk now?! We don't know what may be waiting for us."
The minotaur nodded.
"We will get in saying you are my prisoner and that I have brought you to face the Dark One’s justice."
"That is a very good plan Kryyg, it is no wonder you were the greatest leader the Dark One ever had."
The centaur blushed....
The two companions traveled towards the black citadel, the gates now tightly shut. Upon reaching the gates, the centaur banged on the gates with centaurian might.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"Who goes there?!" came a call from above the gate.
"It is I, Kryyg the reformed Centaur, wielder of the Balefire Charge, master of the titanium hooves, fist of the Dark One!"
"Who?!"
The centaur sighed and started his reel again: "It is I, Kryyg the reformed Centaur, wielder of the Balefire Charge, master of the titanium hooves, fist of the Dark One!"
"What purpose do you have here?" replied the annoying pesky gate guard.
"Who are you to question me infidel?! Open the gate, I have brought the minotaur to face the Dark One's justice!"
The gate rumbled open revealing the mysterious and very annoying gate guard.
Kain!
"Always behind walls." the Centaur spoke.
The minotaur snickered.
The centaur charged the gate guard and dismembered him into tiny pieces.
NEIGHHHH!!!
"Kedelacia lives on the eastern streets, let’s hope we can survive through the patrol" said the Centaur.
With that the two companions entered the Black Citadel, the gate closed behind them ominously. Their fate now left up to this curious Minotaur’s relationship with Kedelacia...
Herold:
Patrolling the blight, a diseased cow tried to attack Kedelacia. I quickly intercepted the attack and cut the creature down with my blade. Look, it’s Mira, Kedelacia said. We both had a quick laugh. I was always impressed with her sense of humor despite the adversity she was facing in the Tower.
"Wake up minotaur!!"
Shaking his head, Herold saw that the gates to the black citadel were open, and the remains of several corpses adorned the entrance to the citadel as well as the centaur's hooves.
"Where now?"
"I already told you minotaur, the eastern streets! But we must get by a massive patrol first, and I cannot charge them all without proper charging room."
Herold looked at the horns in his hands. He stuck one of them back in his head and gripped the other with both hands. Concentrating on what he wanted, the magical minotaur horn turned into a whip. Nodding at Kryyg, he charged ahead. The magical minotaur whip still possesed the same properties as the horn. The patrol of Shadowspawn were now in sight. Herold flicked his wrist and wailed YEEHAW and lassoed the entire patrol. He could now feel all their thoughts. His stomach twisted in revulsion, and he vomitted. Angrily, he commanded them to clear the citadel of other Shadowspawn. They immediately began attacking everything around them. Herold had forgotten that he and Kryyg both were, or at least resembled Shadowspawn now. He lead by example and stabbed a trolloc in the face with his remaining horn. The trolloc gurgled "ctrl..script..save ma..." The rest of the trollocs understood and left the minotaur and centaur alone, attacking other unsuspecting trollocs in the streets.
"Now is our chance, lead me to her. I must have my answers."
Kryyg replied with a loud NEEEEIGGGGGH and patted his rump.
Kryyg:
The companions headed towards the eastern streets. A large estate stood erect in front of them. A simple structure, but the building quality spoke of skill and a craft probably unavailable this far north.
"Many builders, ogier and human alike were recruited to build this, some hand-picked by the Dreadlords themselves. None were left alive to speak of their work." said the Centaur ominously.
"Looks like an estate befitting a Dreadlord." replied the Minotaur in a goat-like voice.
"The dreadlords were always an extravagant breed" replied the centaur with a sense of familiarity. "I have been here many times, you won't believe it but I once found Jestin in his western most wing....with a few shadow stallions in his room..."
The unspoken implications of Jestin's closeness to animals hung in the air.
The minotaur snickered.
"The estate is usually unguarded. The dreadlords don't enjoy being watched or needing bodyguards. Even....the ones who were used to having warders..." said the Centaur eyeing the Minotaur closely.
The Minotaur wrinkled his forehead, clearly in conflict.
"Let us enter anyways...who will be around do you think?" asked the Minotaur.
"Well Bryan's corpse is rotting. Jestin is waiting for the Dark One to respin him as he died once again....for the 4000th time. Mogg and Eleanor are in stasis. The newer dreadlords are mostly incompetent and insignificant. There was a time when the selection of dreadlords required your name to resonate throughout the lands and associated with fear...now the time is of no name undeserving morons becoming dreadlords. Cenae and Mangler are also unaccounted for, we must be wary for those two." replied the centaur.
The two walked up the front stairs leading to the front doors made of oak.
The minotaur smashed through the doors with his mighty donkey head. Pieces of wood littered his wrinkled face and were stuck in his matted hair.
Two persons sat at a small table in the back of the entry room.
"Kedelacia!" cried out the Minotaur.
"Cenae" spoke the Centaur softly.
The centaur charged to where Cenae was sitting and grasped her throat and lifted her five feet into the air with ease. Clearly attempting to grab the source and weave, frantically she struggled. NEIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH roared the centaur, spraying centaurian saliva and bits of undigested straw all over Cenae's now blue turning face.
"Trying to weave? Clearly you don't know the powers of the Centaur. Our skin is impermeable to any sources other than the saa! You are useless without a warder or a group covering your incompetance! Detritus, Marky, Haplo…all clearly the better half of the pair. Interesting you being raised to dreadlord on your Warder's merits!"
The centaur squeezed his fist tightly and thus squeezed the life out of Cenae's body who fell limp.
Meanwhile Kedelacia sat silently watching the death of her companion. Sipping her tea serenely, she put it back on the table and squeezed a lemon slice into it and dropped in a cube of sugar and tasted it again.
"Ah much better now" replied the calm Dreadlord. "I have been expecting you Herold...for quite some time now. You Kryyg....I see you finally got the Centaur power you have been after for so long." said the Dreadlord Kedelacia.
The minotaur who had still been in shock suddenly spoke "What is the meaning of this Kedelacia?! I am so confused! I don't even know who I am anymore! Why did you do this?! What is happening to me?! What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?!
The room grew dark as Kedelacia finally stood....
Herold:
Kedelacia, as serenely as possible took one last sip of her tea before standing. She paid no heed to the mutilated corpse right next to her that the centaur obliviously continued to trample on.
"It is good to see you again, Herold. I have been waiting a long time for this day."
With a strangled wail, Herold was confused. He never knew what to expect, but this dreadlord was not even surprised that a minotaur and a centaur stood before her?! The answers...that is what he came for. Who was he? Who was she? What had happened in the past?
Kedelacia seemed to understand his confusion and gestured. Herold was transformed back into a human. He looked about him fearfully, unsure of where he was. But suddenly his memories rushed back. How he met Kedelacia, how he was impressed with her and stole her away from Uryk (FOILED), how they both grew together and while he was once her mentor, she quickly became the master. But there were still holes in his memory. All he could remember was rage when Kedelacia threw aside the Three Oaths and swore a much more terrible oath, to a terrible master. He also could not fully remember that final day, outside that hideously built trolloc keep that doesn't even have any proper jump exits.
"Why Kedelacia, why! How could you abandon me, after all we had?! We were supposed to make the Tower better and save the Light from the Dark One!"
Hesitating for only a moment, Kedelacia rushed forward and embraced Herold. She clung fiercely to him, arms grappling him as if she hung on for dear life. "I will tell you everything. It began soon after we met. I heard rumor of a Ter'angreal shaped as a door frame in Tear, inside the Stone that would answer three questions truthfully. I had already begun to have feelings for you, so I was curious what our future held. I snuck into the Stone and found that Ter'angreal. The anguish it has caused me... but it may have saved all of creation. I first asked what would happen between us. The answer was that I would betray you. The second question I asked was why I would betray you. The answer was that we would save the world. The third question I asked was how. The answer was that we would find each other in Thakan’dar. I tried to ask what would happen there but I was all out of questions and they kicked me out."
Herold was stunned. He had never heard of any such Ter'angreal, but why did she keep this information from me? I had to know!
Wailing like a goat, Herold blurted out several guttural noises. He forgot that he was human again, but Kedelacia appeared to understand his rough speak. The centaur pawed the ground anxiously, looking uncertain of his companion's human like appearance once again.
"I had to know more first. We were blindly taught as novices and Accepted to be secretive and never say anything meaningful, so that's what I did at first, but I began doing research as well. The Brown Ajah was completely useless for this. The library is pathetic and only holds a few volumes, all of them written by fools. One of the Accepted hoping to join the Brown Ajah told me that a greater collection existed in Cairhien's royal library. I asked her for more information, but she said she had never been there because she didn't know where Cairhien was. I made the journey on my own one night while you were sleeping but I could not find much information. As I raced back in the night to Tar Valon before Sheriam found me missing and could whip me like a slave, I was assaulted by several Dreadlords. Bryan was in their midst and ordered me to serve him or die. I already knew the future, Herold, if not how it would unfold. I was told that I would betray you, and joining the Darkside seemed like the worst betrayal possible. But when the Dark One raised me to the status of Dreadlord, he revealed to me that I was Lanfear reborn and showed me many things."
The centaur looked amazed and bowed his front two powerful legs to kneel before her. But Herold was frozen stiff. Lanfear?! Even a thug like Herold knew that Lanfear was responsible for drilling the bore in the Dark One's prison! The Daughter of the Night reborn stood here!
Herold screamed loudly! "If only I had been able to slay you in front of the gates of the trolloc keep! I will have my revenge now!" But he realized he was without weapon and was as nude as the day he was born. He only slept in his warder's fancloth cloak at night and even that had been shredded away during his transformation into a minotaur and all his travails throughout the past few days. Blushing, he covered his private parts.
Kedelacia held up her hand, as if to say wait. "Let me finish first. I did not believe I was Lanfear at first, but soon I realized it made sense. I'm the greatest female channeler ever born. It’s not even close. You yourself know this to be true."
Herold nodded, remembering all the trollocs she had massacred while he guarded her back.
"But I did not feel evil. I joined the Darkside to stay alive, so that one day I might be able to help you. My determination only grew now that I knew I was Lanfear reborn. It was MY DUTY to repair the wrongs I did in my past life. Since then, I have studied many of Aginor's ancient scrolls. That is how I learned how to transform you into a minotaur. Then I convinced the Dark One to bring Kryyg back into the fold as a mighty centaur. It was very risky, for he could have been even deadlier than me. But I had to take the chance, because I knew that you would both become fast friends because you’re two of maybe fifteen creatures left around here with any sanity. My plan has worked, and now we will destroy the Dark One and save the world."
NEEIIGGGHHHH! Kryyg was fascinated with this plan. With his balefire charge, he could indeed destroy the Great Lord, nay, Dark One, for all of his past wrong doings! Defade me?! You think you can defade me?!
"But there is one last thing you must learn. You are Lews Therin reborn! That is why we were drawn to each other from the very beginning!"
Herold gasped. "How can this be?! I am no dirty male channeler!"
Kedelacia gestured again, and Herold could feel the Source. "The Dark One blocked you from the Source when you were born, I learned that as well."
Suddenly the ground began to shake. GRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLL HOW DARE YOU KEDELACIA!
Kedelacia gasped, looking frightened for the first time. "We must move quickly! He is still imprisoned but he can summon as many creatures as he wishes!"
The centaur NEEEIGGHED loudly and flexed his powerful hind legs. Herold ignored his nudity and wove a sword of flame. All of his shock was gone now. He had a mission, and reunited with an old friend and a new one, they would save the world.
The centaur lead the way out towards the dark citadel, but trollocs and fades and even dreadguards were surrounding their manor! The trio acted in unison. Herold danced amongst them with his sword, cutting the filth apart easily, dodging deadly slashes from Shadow tainted steel, making sure to tuck back his private parts. The centaur was NEIGGGHING louder than ever and used his balefire charge well to clear a path around Kedelacia. She was summoning lightning from the sky and sizzling corpses were dropping all around them!
They continued forward, step by step, fighting for every inch of ground, until they reached the dark citadel. Kryyg kicked the doors open and was shocked. There stood Jestin, respun! Kryyg had never had these kinds of thoughts about another man, but Jestin claimed a special place in his heart, forever. They shared a special bond. Kryyg was frozen there, in front of the only man he ever loved.
Jestin held his arms up pleadingly. "The Great Lord promoted us again! Do not betray him Kryyg! For the brotherly affection you hold for me, please!"
Kryyg looked unsure of what to do. Jestin was his greatest friend, but he had found a true cause to commit to. Frozen by hesitation, he scratched his head.
Kedelacia did not share his hesitation. She began to prepare nasty weaves to destroy Jestin again.
"Wait wait! No fair! I was just respun, I'm not practiced yet!" Howling as Kedelacia burned him to death, he wailed noooo the 4001th timeeeeeeee
The centaur began to cry. "He was my friend, we could have taken him with us."
Herold put his arms around the centaur’s neck and embraced him. "I am sorry friend, but we didn't have time to lose. Besides he'd just die in there anyway."
The centaur knew this to be true, and they proceeded forward.
Once inside, they faced an enormous horde of Shadowspawn led by Shaidar Haran himself. Kedelacia produced a shiny object from her backpack and thrust it at Herold. "It is the Horn of Valere! I found that on my travels too! Blow it quickly!"
Herold was too used to these surprises by now and no shock showed on his face. Just grim determination that a real champion shows. He blew the Horn of Valere, a man materialized beside them. It was the great warrior called Wuken.
Wuken narrated "okay follow follow damnit ON! COME WTF ARE YOU"
The trio looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. NEEEEIGGGGH!! The centaur balefire charged him out of existence.
"That was pretty annoying," he growled. "He’s not even on the list, must have been a fluke. Blow it harder Herold!"
HAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Out streamed several Legends of the Wheel. Arim, a man Herold had heard notorious things about. But the man looked around awkwardly asking where Andor was because he wanted to fight some noobs. Blackwolf, even older perhaps. But he suddenly looked fondly at the estate they had just come from and said something about tending the trees. Bootsy came forth and was suddenly sillynamed. Dalyn came out, perhaps the oldest man ever. He muttered, and holding his back, he walked out of the citadel to a nearby inn, where the trolloc inn keeper happily invited him to a bed and then cut off his head.
Frowning, Herold stared at the horn in his hand. "Is this even the real one Kedelacia?"
"Yes just blow it harder!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Drakavrea stumbled forward complaining about her defense and how she was mistreated by the worthless Seanchan across the Aryth Ocean. A trolloc named Zarth jumped forward and went berserk, and attacked the woman until she was badly beaten. Kedelacia started throwing fireballs at him. Zarth was suddenly frightened and said "no fair, targetting sucks!" Once he was dead, they left the beaten woman where she lay, she was clearly of no use.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Erengol strode forward confidently claiming he was a blademaster. He rushed at the trollocs but clumsily dropped his fake heron mark blade and was quickly torn apart. Mikaela came out yelling rar! What the hell was a Sitter Blazetrailer. They ignored her. Groofin came forward. Finally, a real warrior! His feats were well known, Herold even remembered fighting alongside him in the past. Wielding a bronze scourge, he ran towards the trollocs and talked about how Bush and Republicans suck. His onslaught was effective at first, several of the Shadowspawn were dropping their weapons and clutching their ears, asking for it to stop. Some even threw down their weapons and began preaching about liberal politics, complaining about Thakan’dar’s fossil fuel emissions. But it wasn't enough, only a small fraction were distracted with that nonsense.
The centaur NEEEIGGGGHEEED angrily. "Is this the best the Light has to offer?! At least most of the Dark Legends deserve that designation. Come my friends, we will take them on our own!
Nodding, Herold and the centaur cut a way through the mass of trollocs while Kedelacia focused on thwarting the dreadlords’ weaves. Protecting each other, they forged their way through, until suddenly before them, was the Pit of Doom.
The heat was crazy! Kedelacia had torn off part of her exquisite gown so that Herold could hide his private parts, but the rest of his body baked. He wouldn't let Kedelacia rebond him because of the horrors of Saidin!
Nearing the Pit of Doom, they found Shaidar Haran. He must have retreated after the last fight started to go badly for him. But he looked confused, sitting on the ground and cursing. One moment he was weeping, the next he was blowing his nose, the next he was feeling for his eyes.
"What am I damnit! A fade?! A really tall fade?! A fade that can channel?! Am I Ishamael reborn as a fade?! Or perhaps the Dark One himself?!"
He continued to roll around on the ground clutching himself, rambling. Herold felt bad for him, he had known such confusion himself just recently. But he had no choice. Warily, he approached whatever this creature actually was, I don't think the Dark One even knows, and slew it.
They entered the Pit of Doom!
DO YOU DARE SUFFER MY WRATH KEDELACIA? KRYYG I KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE TO RAISE YOU AGAIN. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD FIGHTER DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF AN flower. AND MY AGES OLD ENEMY, LEWS THERIN. BUT TRAINED AS A TOWER LAP DOG. I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO WIELD YOUR POWER AND GIVE YOU DOMINION OF THE WORLD.
Herold's head was pounding! He saw visions of wonderous cities and numerous jo'cars that he personally owned!
But he was brought back, he could feel the bond with Kedelacia again! He surrendered his will to Kedelacia and linked with her, and then she passed control to him. The enormity of the power astounded him.
"NOW KRYYG!"
The fearless centaur NEIGGHED and flexed his four legs before charging forward. Kedelacia broke the Dark One's seal like she had done before, in a past life. Kryyg was right on the brink now, he had had the proper amount of room to charge up his balefire charge. All at once, they balefired the Dark One together! The last thing anyone could hear was NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"We've done it!" Kedelacia shouted with glee. Herold looked about him. Saidin felt clean!
The centaur snorted, obviously displeased. "We have accomplished our glorious mission, but what now? I have lost all sense of motivation or purpose."
Kedelacia shrugged and balefired him too. "Don't need him anymore. What now?"
Herold stroked his chin thoughtfully. "We have destroyed the Dark side, but what about those pesky guys to the west? They have lived sheltered lives for much too long."
Before Kedelacia could nod her ascent, Nass appeared before them.
"we're not that far in the game yet guys"
Someone speaks from the Dark 'sorry guys, lag incoming'
Herold looked up at Kedelacia desperately, knowing that he might never see her again.
Suddenly Mournblade appeared. "This game has been stagnant for far too long. I'll allow it."
Rejoicing, Herold scooped Kedelacia up in his arms and wove a gateway to the continent known as Seanchan. Together, they were powerful enough to sink the entire continent. Together, they could do anything...
THE END
Kedelacia:
EPILOGUE
The Wheel turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the age that gave birth to it comes again.
In this Age a slight gust of wind made its ways across a mountain top. The wind picked up speed as it descended from the mountain and headed towards a valley where two riders were crossing a small meadow.
Good story --- &RPaward
Re: Good story
Ha, good times!
Re: Good story
what did i just read??
Re: Good story
"We will take them together! Heehaw!" growled the Minotaur.
Re: Good story
This is legend!Ali wrote:what did i just read??
Re: Good story
I feel like I just read a fever dream. 10/10
Re: Good story
Kryyg requested this by the way. I'd have preferred to wait and gauge the atmosphere of the mud before diving in...
Re: Good story
I love it, makes me chuckle each time:)
Re: Good story
Why are you so scared?! Gauge the atmosphere?! Oh dear.
Re: Good story
10/10 will read again!