Finding Acceptance, Part Five: Learning to be Fearless

[Amarea]

Summary:
Amarea has been gradually working on narrowing down her list of which Ajahs she believes may suit her best. Today, she is summoned by Evaine Sedai of the Red Ajah and meets with her to demonstrate her growing skill and knowledge as an Accepted of the White Tower. Amarea shares her idle daydreams about studying the taint and learning how to Heal or delay it in order to shepherd the world towards a brighter tomorrow, but Evaine discusses the hard realities of the present and encourages Amarea to note lose sight of the Tower's mission.

POV: Amarea
Main characters: Amarea, Evaine

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Den of the Red Ajah
This room reflects the cool nature of the Red Ajah, the furnishings just as
severe as the rest of the room. A gilded chair rests near the center of the
room, accompanied by an equally elaborate dark wooden desk. Chairs have
been drawn up to the tall, arched windows, which look over the western side
of Tar Valon, the western bank of the Erinin and Dragonmount beyond,
serving as a constant reminder of the purpose of the Red Ajah.
[ obvious exits: E ]
A chair made of red oak rests next to the table. [2]
A large desk made of fine, thick wood stands across the room from here.
Evaine Casnobar is standing here.
A woman with an ageless face stands here.
A silver-haired Aes Sedai sits here, reading.
A Red Sister stares down here nose here.
Galina Casban completely ignores you.

Amarea senses Evaine connecting to the True Source.

Amarea curtseys before Evaine.

Evaine gestures and the door creaks and closes slowly.

Evaine nods at Amarea.

Amarea says 'Beggin' your pardon, Aes Sedai, but I came as fast as I could when your servant sent for me.'

Evaine says 'I see your studies must be going very well.'

Amarea blushes but replies with a smile, 'Yes, Aes Sedai, I have been workin' as hard as I can.'

Evaine gestures to the colored bans at Amarea's hem.

Evaine nods in agreement.

Evaine says 'I hope she wasn't too skittish? That girl need a backbone.'

Evaine taps her chin in thought.

Amarea says 'They were a little...grumpy, I think.'

Evaine makes a sweeping gesture to the set of chairs before her desk, 'Sit then child, and summarize how your studies have been progressing.'

Amarea nods in agreement.

Amarea sets down some refreshments on the table. 'Here is some food if you haven't had the chance to call for any recently.'

Amarea puts a plate of hot stew with some bread in a desk.
Amarea puts a plate with bread and green veined cheese in a desk.

Evaine's aura of saidar winks out of existence as she releases the Source.

Amarea sit down on a stout oaken chair.

Evaine pulls out the high-backed chair behind the desk and spreads out her crimson skirts.

Evaine sits down on a stout oaken chair.

Amarea contemplates the question, smoothing her banded dress with a thoughtful expression on her face.

Amarea says 'Well, the most important and memorable part of my training as a novice included understanding, and then breaking, my wilder block. Several Aes Sedai and Accepted were instrumental in helping me with this, but none more than Aelrena Sedai of the Brown Ajah.'

Evaine's calm features break into a slight smile, 'Yes I was pleased to hear you had overcome your block.'

Amarea blushes furiously.

Amarea says 'Thank you, Aes Sedai. I was pleased as well.'

Evaine says 'I always wonder the sense of Power and freedom a girl must feel the day she first overcomes her block. All that potential now just waiting for you to call upon it.'

Amarea nods eagerly. 'Yes, very much so. Learning I could actually be trained in how to channel the One Power, only to learn that I had a block that could hamper my ability and keep me from ever reaching the shawl, was a wild ride of feelings.'

Evaine tilts her head to one side in thought.

Amarea says 'I have to thank Alison Sedai and Chloro Sedai for also helping me to learn more about the fear I had about fire, and how it fed into the block I had. I still am not comfortable around open flames, but I no longer flinch when I see it channeled around me.'

Evaine says 'Hm.'

Amarea senses Evaine connecting to the True Source.

Evaine's body is surrounded by a nimbus of light.

Evaine gestures deftly, several flames of fire igniting around Amarea's head.

Amarea's face pales as her eyes widen.

Evaine says 'Remove the fire. And do it on your first attempt.'

Amarea does an admirable effort at holding still, though she gulps a little.

Amarea feels the flows of saidar coursing through her body.

Amarea takes a breath, and as she turns her head slightly, she quickly channels mostly threads of Air with some Water. She sends them towards the flames and attacks the source of heat, dispersing it into the room. The flames flicker at first, then one by one slowly disappear.

Evaine nods firmly as she releases the Source.

Amarea says in a strained voice as she focuses on her weaving, 'I am still working on splitting my flows in multiple ways. I can do two, sometimes three, at once, but beyond that is still hard.'

Evaine says 'Excellent work.'

Amarea nods and sighs quietly as the final flame weakens and disappears, and she wipes a bead of sweat from her brow as she releases the Source as well.

Evaine says 'Splitting your flows is very difficult. Handling three or more weaves is admirable, there are women with the Shawl who cannot handle that many split flows. '

Amarea blushes furiously.

Evaine says 'Now that I have seen the proof for myself, I am pleased. '

Amarea says 'Thank you, Evaine Sedai. I feel like I am moving towards my potential.'

Evaine says 'Now. Surely you had a real reason to meet with me, besides this show-and-tell.'

Amarea chuckles politely.

Evaine says 'Tell me, have you started thinking of which Ajah you are most interested in?'

Evaine plucks absentmindedly at the blood-red fringe of her shawl.

Amarea says 'Well, yes, Evaine Sedai. When I was able to clear my block and gain Acceptance, I found myself with a flood of topics I wanted to explore but not necessarily certainty on which direction I wanted to pursue, or which Ajahs might be the best fit for me. So, I have been trying to meet with an Aes Sedai from every Ajah so I can hopefully refine some of my interests.'

Amarea smiles as she continues, 'The issue I have found, Aes Sedai, is not picking an Ajah I am interested in, but finding which ones I am not.'

Amarea says 'So far, I have most likely only ruled out two, the Yellow and Green. I desire to learn more about Healing, and have skill in Healing serious wounds, but it seems I don't have the full Talent for Healing. And although I have surprisingly enjoyed fighting against the Shadow, I am incredibly weak in Fire, and Vianca Sedai worries I would be ineffective in the Borderlands.'

Evaine nods in agreement.

Amarea says 'The main reason I wished to speak with a sister from the Red Ajah is that I am not sure the Red Ajah could be a good fit for me for a few reasons, but I wanted to ask more about it.'

Evaine says 'Well you have recently just faced your fears in the Arches - there is plenty of time for you to weigh your options.'

Evaine nods at Amarea.

Evaine says 'I am all ears, Accepted.'

Amarea says 'Now that I have broken my block, and been working on pushing my potential, I have been working with a few other Accepted to practice weaving more effectively and quickly.'

Amarea says 'Isela has been very helpful, as was Alitherin. Both are lightning fast.'

Evaine nods, folding her hands before her on the large desk.

Evaine says 'Yes, Isela has been progressing very nicely. Her dexterity with flame strike has greatly improved, we are proud of her work so far.'

Amarea smiles happily.

Evaine says 'Regardless of the Ajah you eventually choose, you will always be faced with the danger of your enemy potentially possessing the ability to channel. Knowing how to defend yourself in such circumstances is imperative for all Sisters.'

Amarea says 'I have enjoyed the spars, honestly more than I thought I ever would. I admit I fancied becoming Aes Sedai because of the adventure stories I read as a child, but I never thought as a student of the Tower that I would find myself running towards danger to fight.'

Amarea nods at Evaine.

Amarea says 'Aye, I fought against the dreadlord Axxye and a few others recently, in Blodfest's Trolloc camp.'

Evaine says ''Aes Sedai' in the Old Tongue translates to 'Servants of All.' We often find ourselves the only buffer between the threat and the innocent lives we work so hard to protect.'

Amarea says 'If I hadn't been practicing my timing with the others, I don't think I would have done nearly as well.'

Amarea beams a broad smile from ear to ear.

Amarea says 'I admire that part of what you and the Red Ajah do, Aes Sedai.'

Evaine says 'Blodfest. That is a very dangerous place to be. I am glad your training has lent you such success.'

Amarea blushes and replies again, 'Thank you, Aes Sedai. I really am trying.'

Amarea says 'I haven't encountered any other male channelers besides the dreadlords in Shienar or Andor, but there is something that I am very curious about, although I'm not sure it's the way you would think about it.'

Evaine raises an index finger to emphasize her point, 'I would argue the White Tower faces two great adversaries: the Shadow and the Taint. I chose the Red Ajah because I felt that only Aes Sedai have the knowledge and skill to successfully prevent another Breaking of the World.

Amarea pauses, listening intently as she nods thoughtfully.

Evaine says 'What is it that you are curious about?'

Evaine folds her hands again, studying you calmly.

Amarea shifts in her seat, her face calm but her hands nervously smoothing her dress despite there not being any clear wrinkles. 'Well, after taking lessons with Saerin Sedai of the Brown and Pevara Sedai of the Red on the Age of Legends and the Breaking, I found myself dreaming of what it must have been like to channel alongside men, to work together with saidin and saidar to perform amazing acts.'

Amarea says 'And now that the taint is such a looming threat, and also one of the primary reasons I think men turn to the Shadow to desperately find some protection from the Dark One...I wonder how much we are missing by not studying the taint, and trying to figure out what we could do to work with men to fix it, or Heal them.'

Evaine says 'I imagine it being one of the glorious times for both men and women who can channel. Peace was prevalent throughout the realm and the One power was used to improve the lives of people, not as a weapon to kill.'

Amarea leans forward, a touch of eagerness bubbling up in her voice. 'What if we could Heal the taint, or find a way to protect men from it? What if we could go back to how things were before, with women -and- men as Aes Sedai?'

Amarea nods eagerly, sighing quietly.

Evaine says 'The Red Ajah would love nothing more than for the Taint to be gone and for their to be a sense of trust and safety among all channelers. But alas, that is not the era we find ourselves. In fact we Aes Sedai swear upon the Oath Rod just to prove to the world that we can be trusted. And even then we are met with skepticism. '

Amarea nods sadly.

Evaine says 'I don't like to dwell on what-if's or daydreams. But I will have you know that the White Tower has been studying the Taint since it first manifested in males. We have studied it ever since, and there have been no further leads today than there were 3,000 years ago.'

Evaine says 'Your empathy is well noted, Accepted. Many of my Red Sisters may seem aloof or cold on the outset, but know that we care deeply about our mission. Emotions must be put at bay when seeing our task to the end. '

Amarea blushes again, sighing. 'Is there no hope, then, for men? Do you think there is anything we could do?'

Amarea says 'I was reading some books in the library on how gentling and stilling affects the channeler, and the accounts are...not good.'

Amarea grimaces.

Evaine says 'We do not even bond Warders, as you must know by now. For the risk is too great that we could either lose one of them to the taint, as it manifests at a later age in men. But also, when battling or restraining a male channeler, if a warder were to die then the emotional chaos felt by the Sister would cause too much difficulty in completing the mission.'

Amarea nods in agreement.

Evaine says 'Our Sisterhood is strong.'

Evaine taps her chin, 'You are correct, the case studies on gentled men and stilled women are not the most promising. But the alternative option is far greater a risk to mankind.'

Amarea says 'I have to admit, Aes Sedai, I've daydreamed about having a warder of my own some day. I know some of it is just idle fancy because of the stories I've read, but I have had the chance to fight alongside them and their apprentices, and I have seen firsthand how skilled and valuable they can be.'

Evaine shrugs slightly, 'No one is arguing their value to the White Tower and the other Ajahs. Strength of arms will be needed in the wars to come. But we will not risk the bond of our Sisterhood.'

Amarea says 'I admire that. The Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah seem fearless.'

Evaine says 'All wise women understand the importance of fear and how to overcome it.'

Evaine says 'You too will learn to be fearless if you should ever attain the Shawl and Ring.'

Amarea sits up straighter and replies, 'I am learning. It's not been easy, but I am trying.'

Amarea says 'I guess I find myself more drawn to studying the taint, to looking at a man who is known to channel and trying to experiment to see what we can learn from it and whether it can be Healed or delayed, than I do of stopping them or gentling them. Is there room in the Red Ajah for women with interests like that? Or is that contrary to the mission, as you see it?'

Evaine says 'The only controllable is your effort and diligence. The more you apply to your studies, the clearer the world will become.'

Evaine says 'The mission always comes first, Accepted. The interest in studying the taint is a noble one, but we do not sway from our charter.'

Amarea nods thoughtfully.

Evaine says 'I would advise discussing that topic with the Yellow Ajah to gain a further understanding of how the White Tower has handled gentled men and stilled women.'

Amarea nods in agreement.

Evaine says 'We often times turn them over to the Yellows to ease their pains.'

Amarea smiles sadly. 'That is kind of you, considering the situation.'

Amarea says 'You do what must be done, I know.'

Evaine nods in agreement.

Evaine says 'Always. In the name of the Light.'

Evaine glances out the window and notices the placement of the sun.

Evaine says 'Oh. It seems my time is running short now, Accepted.'

Amarea nods in agreement.

Evaine says 'I should rendezvous with Sister Penzei.'

Amarea says 'I appreciate the time you were able to give me, Aes Sedai.'

Amarea says 'I think you have helped me to confirm a suspicion.'

Amarea stands up.

Evaine says 'And what suspicion is that?'

Evaine gathers her blood-red skirts and rises.

Evaine clambers to her feet.

Amarea says 'That the Red Ajah might not be the right choice for me, but that I should keep studying with them to improve my ability to defend myself.'

Evaine continues to listen as she stuffs several items into her belt pouch, and removes a crimson cloak from a nearby wall hook.

Evaine nods in agreement.

Evaine turns to Amarea as she dons the red cloak.

Evaine says 'All Aes Sedai have a little of every Ajah in them. When we are united we are the strongest.'

Amarea nods thoughtfully.

Evaine says 'Now, I should be off.'

Amarea says 'I'm feeling an increasing sense of clarity about which Ajahs may be my future home, should I one day earn the ring and the shawl both, but I have more work to do to figure out the rest.'

Evaine pulls the hood of her cloak up.

Amarea nods in agreement.

Amarea senses Evaine connecting to the True Source.

Evaine gestures with her hand.

Amarea curtseys before Evaine.

The door smoothly swings open.

Amarea says 'The Light favor you.'

[Lys]

awarded 3qps

[Chloro]

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Awards:
Amarea 3
Evaine 2