Decisions are Hard
Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2023 6:16 pm
An overworked, grumbling scribe bustles into the room, scowling darkly.
The scribe says 'Aelrena Sedai requests your presence in the Brown study, Aleera.'
Finishing her errand, the scribe turns on her heel and scurries back the way she came.
Aleera nods sharply to the scribe, saying, “Thank you,” and then makes her way directly upstairs and to the wing housing the Brown Ajah. She knocks on the door to Their Study.
The carveddoor is opened from the other side.
Softly, through the door, you hear, 'You may enter.' It sounds like Aelrena's voice.
A White Sister leaves north.
Study of the Brown Ajah
Tall, arched windows in the northern wall open to a balcony, providing a choice view of the Erinin as it flows south from the Borderlands. Half the seating in the room is drawn up around the windows, showing that the occupants appreciate the panorama. The remaining seats are drawn up in circles of six to eight, allowing Brown Sisters to discuss the furtherance of knowledge, or new theories in an informal atmosphere. Colorful wall hangings depicting still lifes decorate the pale white walls.
Zone: White Tower Upper Floors
A large desk made of fine, thick wood stands across the room from here.
A White Sister walks by, deep in thought.
Aelrena is sitting here, reading a letter.
A silver-haired Aes Sedai sits here, reading.
A Brown Sister is here, frowning pensively.
Danelle Sedai, sitter for the Brown Ajah stands here deep in thought.
Aleera steps in and drops in a deep curtsey.
A novice has arrived from the south.
Aelrena looks up from the letter she's holding before holding up a hand with one finger raised, "Just a moment child."
Aleera nods and steps aside, making further room for the novice who just entered.
Aelrena's eyes flick quickly across the letter, her lips tightening slightly before she folds it carefully and placing it in her lap.
Aelrena looks at a novice.
Aelrena says 'Child, unless you're here for another of the sisters, I would suggest you find your way out of here.'
Aelrena turns her stare from the novice to the young accepted, her expression lightening a touch before she gestures to a wooden chair across from her perch upon the window.
Aelrena says 'Please, have a seat child. I'm curious to how I might be able to help you find your place in the Tower.'
Aleera curtseys once more and steps across the room, settling on to the edge of the chair.
Aleera nods appreciatively, "Thank you for giving me some of your time, Aelrena Sedai. I am struggling a little bit and trying to best understand about apprenticeships within the Tower. I am hoping that a conversation might help me gain greater clarity on my path. It feels ... murky."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'Certainly, it would be my pleasure to help you understand. What seems to be confusing of yet?'
A novice leaves south.
Aelrena looks to the departing novice, nodding her head slightly before looking back to Aleera.
Aleera senses Aelrena connecting to the True Source.
Aelrena gestures at the door with her hand.
The door silently swings shut and lock with a soft *click*.
Aleera admits, "I feel torn. I think some time back, you had asked me about any goals I might have." Her cheeks color faintly, "And I shared how I want to ensure young girls need not fear as I did. A bold goal, certainly, with the Children of Light, the Seanchan, and such."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera says, "I've thought more on it and there seem multiple paths towards a goal such as that. I am not so blinded that I think I might actually succeed, but would hope to make a difference in the time I am allotted."
Aelrena says 'You did, I recall thinking it was quite ambitious though I cannot say I was entirely displeased. I would rather a child think on a large scale and then refine her thoughts and goals from there rather than being too focused on something small.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena nods at Aleera.
Aelrena says 'There are more than a few ways to reach the sky if one goes by the path of a tree.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera nods, agreeing with Aelrena Sedai's assessment. She suggests, "It seemed to me that one path involves a better understanding of the Children, of the Seanchan; of their histories, their cultures, their practices, these things would be necessary to any long-lasting change that may one day present."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena nods in agreement.
Aelrena says 'Understanding of a thing, and its nature can indeed be the catalyst by which to affect change. Some are quick to attempt lasting and powerful change without a strong grasp of how it came to be.'
Aelrena says 'Am I to take that you're considering a Brown apprenticeship closely then?'
Aleera nods, and holds a hand palm up, "That is one thought I have, yes Aelrena Sedai." She then lifts her other hand, also palm up, "And then on another hand, I also envision that any truly lasting change would require negotiation and mediation. Bludgeoning a people on the battlefield, while it might produce a change in the short-term, seems unlikely to produce any sort of long-term change."
Aelrena stifles a laugh behind her hand.
Aleera adds, "But a negotiation would require understanding."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'It would, though the Gray Ajah understand that well, if it's the path you were to choose.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'So your problem is that you aren't certain which of the two paths calls to you more?'
Aleera nods again, and then shifts her one hand to a "third" position, "And then, I think about how," and she lets out a slow breath, "about how difficult these tasks might be and what might sustain one through them, a sincere belief in a cause that is bigger than oneself." She brings both hands together to the center of her chest, one over the other.
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena nods at Aleera.
Aleera extends Aelrena's analysis, "So, I find myself pulled in three directions."
Aelrena says 'I see.'
Aelrena says 'Allow me to raise you a question child.'
Aleera nods, "Please."
Aelrena stands from her seat on the windowsill, one hand quickly tucking the letter into a pouch upon her belt before she stoops to crouch before the Accepted.
Aleera's eyes track and follow Aelrena Sedai. She sits, still, attentive.
Aelrena gestures toward the girl's heart, "What lies in here? Is it a woman who wishes to see all people make peace? A woman who would give her life to ensuring that conflict is laid to rest? Is it a woman who values justice? Who would give her life to seeing that the right thing is done? Or is it perhaps a woman who values knowledge above all, who understands that the to know a thing, to pass that understanding on is the basis of the White Tower?"
Aelrena says 'I will be the first to say that I have no small appreciation for my sisters and the other Ajahs, we are all part of a greater whole. We are all integral to what the White Tower is in our different ways. But it is the Brown Ajah who creates the foundation of knowledge, who records the histories of the world. It is we who research artifacts of the One Power, assuming the risk that others might benefit from our efforts.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera lowers her eyes, not an act of avoidance, but of consideration and looking inward. She begins, "I've wanted it all. At the same time, I've acknowledged, no argued, that a choice like this is intentionally set to be difficult, one of many difficult decisions we might make in our lives. Avoiding answering the question would then be an act of cowardice."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'You don't have to have an answer now. But this is the next step in your path.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'I myself took awhile to find my answer, when I first donned the great serpent ring I thought that I would be a Blue or Yellow.'
Aleera admits, "I would be lying if I did not say that I had fantasized about remaining as I am now, so that I might continue to learn from all. I feel most called to the Blue and to the Brown, but see a very valid path with the Grey." She adds, "I don't know if it is justice that guides me in this matter though."
Aelrena stifles a laugh behind her hand.
Aelrena says 'Aleera, do you think that you will not continue to learn from all Ajahs?'
Aelrena says 'Your path to knowledge, to the shawl, does not end with an apprenticeship. Nor does it end when you attain the shawl, no matter your Ajah. You will continue to grow and learn from your experiences, and indeed every other sister.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera's eyes lift up. She admits, "It did not necessarily feel that way to me. I know there are," and she looks like she doesn't want to say it, but then does, "internal politics at times. It seems those would hinder cooperation to some extent."
Aelrena says 'So allow your heart to be put at ease, you will still continue to learn from us at all, and that is indeed something we in the Brown encourage. We see strength in consensus.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'Internal politics can be put aside for the greater good of the world, and I can confirm that I have relationships with Sisters in near every Ajah.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera smiles at that. She confides, "I have great respect for Sarinda Sedai, for example, but I barely wanted to consider the Blue Ajah as a choice given what I have heard between the two. I wouldn't want to drive a wedge there." She exhales, a bit of exhaustion, a bit of defeat being let out. She then says, "I suppose larger tides aside, everyone is an individual."
Aelrena rests her wrists upon her knees as she maintains her crouch.
Aelrena nods at Aleera.
Aelrena says 'I have found that often it is up to the individual where their affections and relationships lie rather than falling to the Ajah's own inclinations.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'I am certain if you chose the Blue, Sarinda would still be just as interested in teaching you and helping to guide your training as she is now, no matter whether you would wear a Blue shawl one day or not.'
Aleera 's expression becomes more at ease. "Thank you," she says, "for helping me to understand that; and for your questions. I feel more free in picking a path."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'I am glad, child.'
Aelrena says 'Your path is your own, and that is how it is meant to be.'
Aelrena says 'I would like to note however, that should you wish to carry out your goal then there are few places better than the Brown Ajah to create a foundation and tools for the generations of the future to use.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena straightens from her crouch and moves back to her seat upon the window, settling gently as she watches the accepted.
Aleera 's lips shift into a broad smile, "If that is my choice, I have no doubt that I would be very happy and find great satisfaction in my work."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera straightens a bit in her seat and then says, "Thank you again for giving some of your time to me today. I truly appreciate it."
Aelrena says 'You are quite welcome.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'Is there anything else I can help you with, Aleera?'
Aleera shakes her head and rises up from her chair. She curtseys, a deep bob that lingers at the lowest point, "No, nothing else. Thank you, Aelrena Sedai. Is there anything I might do for you?"
Aelrena ponders life, the universe, and everything.
Aelrena says 'Have Laras send up tea to my rooms please.'
Aelrena says 'Otherwise, that is all.'
Aelrena gestures with her hand.
The door smoothly swings open.
Aleera nods, "It will be done."
Aelrena says 'You're dismissed child.'
The scribe says 'Aelrena Sedai requests your presence in the Brown study, Aleera.'
Finishing her errand, the scribe turns on her heel and scurries back the way she came.
Aleera nods sharply to the scribe, saying, “Thank you,” and then makes her way directly upstairs and to the wing housing the Brown Ajah. She knocks on the door to Their Study.
The carveddoor is opened from the other side.
Softly, through the door, you hear, 'You may enter.' It sounds like Aelrena's voice.
A White Sister leaves north.
Study of the Brown Ajah
Tall, arched windows in the northern wall open to a balcony, providing a choice view of the Erinin as it flows south from the Borderlands. Half the seating in the room is drawn up around the windows, showing that the occupants appreciate the panorama. The remaining seats are drawn up in circles of six to eight, allowing Brown Sisters to discuss the furtherance of knowledge, or new theories in an informal atmosphere. Colorful wall hangings depicting still lifes decorate the pale white walls.
Zone: White Tower Upper Floors
A large desk made of fine, thick wood stands across the room from here.
A White Sister walks by, deep in thought.
Aelrena is sitting here, reading a letter.
A silver-haired Aes Sedai sits here, reading.
A Brown Sister is here, frowning pensively.
Danelle Sedai, sitter for the Brown Ajah stands here deep in thought.
Aleera steps in and drops in a deep curtsey.
A novice has arrived from the south.
Aelrena looks up from the letter she's holding before holding up a hand with one finger raised, "Just a moment child."
Aleera nods and steps aside, making further room for the novice who just entered.
Aelrena's eyes flick quickly across the letter, her lips tightening slightly before she folds it carefully and placing it in her lap.
Aelrena looks at a novice.
Aelrena says 'Child, unless you're here for another of the sisters, I would suggest you find your way out of here.'
Aelrena turns her stare from the novice to the young accepted, her expression lightening a touch before she gestures to a wooden chair across from her perch upon the window.
Aelrena says 'Please, have a seat child. I'm curious to how I might be able to help you find your place in the Tower.'
Aleera curtseys once more and steps across the room, settling on to the edge of the chair.
Aleera nods appreciatively, "Thank you for giving me some of your time, Aelrena Sedai. I am struggling a little bit and trying to best understand about apprenticeships within the Tower. I am hoping that a conversation might help me gain greater clarity on my path. It feels ... murky."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'Certainly, it would be my pleasure to help you understand. What seems to be confusing of yet?'
A novice leaves south.
Aelrena looks to the departing novice, nodding her head slightly before looking back to Aleera.
Aleera senses Aelrena connecting to the True Source.
Aelrena gestures at the door with her hand.
The door silently swings shut and lock with a soft *click*.
Aleera admits, "I feel torn. I think some time back, you had asked me about any goals I might have." Her cheeks color faintly, "And I shared how I want to ensure young girls need not fear as I did. A bold goal, certainly, with the Children of Light, the Seanchan, and such."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera says, "I've thought more on it and there seem multiple paths towards a goal such as that. I am not so blinded that I think I might actually succeed, but would hope to make a difference in the time I am allotted."
Aelrena says 'You did, I recall thinking it was quite ambitious though I cannot say I was entirely displeased. I would rather a child think on a large scale and then refine her thoughts and goals from there rather than being too focused on something small.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena nods at Aleera.
Aelrena says 'There are more than a few ways to reach the sky if one goes by the path of a tree.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera nods, agreeing with Aelrena Sedai's assessment. She suggests, "It seemed to me that one path involves a better understanding of the Children, of the Seanchan; of their histories, their cultures, their practices, these things would be necessary to any long-lasting change that may one day present."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena nods in agreement.
Aelrena says 'Understanding of a thing, and its nature can indeed be the catalyst by which to affect change. Some are quick to attempt lasting and powerful change without a strong grasp of how it came to be.'
Aelrena says 'Am I to take that you're considering a Brown apprenticeship closely then?'
Aleera nods, and holds a hand palm up, "That is one thought I have, yes Aelrena Sedai." She then lifts her other hand, also palm up, "And then on another hand, I also envision that any truly lasting change would require negotiation and mediation. Bludgeoning a people on the battlefield, while it might produce a change in the short-term, seems unlikely to produce any sort of long-term change."
Aelrena stifles a laugh behind her hand.
Aleera adds, "But a negotiation would require understanding."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'It would, though the Gray Ajah understand that well, if it's the path you were to choose.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'So your problem is that you aren't certain which of the two paths calls to you more?'
Aleera nods again, and then shifts her one hand to a "third" position, "And then, I think about how," and she lets out a slow breath, "about how difficult these tasks might be and what might sustain one through them, a sincere belief in a cause that is bigger than oneself." She brings both hands together to the center of her chest, one over the other.
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena nods at Aleera.
Aleera extends Aelrena's analysis, "So, I find myself pulled in three directions."
Aelrena says 'I see.'
Aelrena says 'Allow me to raise you a question child.'
Aleera nods, "Please."
Aelrena stands from her seat on the windowsill, one hand quickly tucking the letter into a pouch upon her belt before she stoops to crouch before the Accepted.
Aleera's eyes track and follow Aelrena Sedai. She sits, still, attentive.
Aelrena gestures toward the girl's heart, "What lies in here? Is it a woman who wishes to see all people make peace? A woman who would give her life to ensuring that conflict is laid to rest? Is it a woman who values justice? Who would give her life to seeing that the right thing is done? Or is it perhaps a woman who values knowledge above all, who understands that the to know a thing, to pass that understanding on is the basis of the White Tower?"
Aelrena says 'I will be the first to say that I have no small appreciation for my sisters and the other Ajahs, we are all part of a greater whole. We are all integral to what the White Tower is in our different ways. But it is the Brown Ajah who creates the foundation of knowledge, who records the histories of the world. It is we who research artifacts of the One Power, assuming the risk that others might benefit from our efforts.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera lowers her eyes, not an act of avoidance, but of consideration and looking inward. She begins, "I've wanted it all. At the same time, I've acknowledged, no argued, that a choice like this is intentionally set to be difficult, one of many difficult decisions we might make in our lives. Avoiding answering the question would then be an act of cowardice."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'You don't have to have an answer now. But this is the next step in your path.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'I myself took awhile to find my answer, when I first donned the great serpent ring I thought that I would be a Blue or Yellow.'
Aleera admits, "I would be lying if I did not say that I had fantasized about remaining as I am now, so that I might continue to learn from all. I feel most called to the Blue and to the Brown, but see a very valid path with the Grey." She adds, "I don't know if it is justice that guides me in this matter though."
Aelrena stifles a laugh behind her hand.
Aelrena says 'Aleera, do you think that you will not continue to learn from all Ajahs?'
Aelrena says 'Your path to knowledge, to the shawl, does not end with an apprenticeship. Nor does it end when you attain the shawl, no matter your Ajah. You will continue to grow and learn from your experiences, and indeed every other sister.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera's eyes lift up. She admits, "It did not necessarily feel that way to me. I know there are," and she looks like she doesn't want to say it, but then does, "internal politics at times. It seems those would hinder cooperation to some extent."
Aelrena says 'So allow your heart to be put at ease, you will still continue to learn from us at all, and that is indeed something we in the Brown encourage. We see strength in consensus.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'Internal politics can be put aside for the greater good of the world, and I can confirm that I have relationships with Sisters in near every Ajah.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera smiles at that. She confides, "I have great respect for Sarinda Sedai, for example, but I barely wanted to consider the Blue Ajah as a choice given what I have heard between the two. I wouldn't want to drive a wedge there." She exhales, a bit of exhaustion, a bit of defeat being let out. She then says, "I suppose larger tides aside, everyone is an individual."
Aelrena rests her wrists upon her knees as she maintains her crouch.
Aelrena nods at Aleera.
Aelrena says 'I have found that often it is up to the individual where their affections and relationships lie rather than falling to the Ajah's own inclinations.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'I am certain if you chose the Blue, Sarinda would still be just as interested in teaching you and helping to guide your training as she is now, no matter whether you would wear a Blue shawl one day or not.'
Aleera 's expression becomes more at ease. "Thank you," she says, "for helping me to understand that; and for your questions. I feel more free in picking a path."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'I am glad, child.'
Aelrena says 'Your path is your own, and that is how it is meant to be.'
Aelrena says 'I would like to note however, that should you wish to carry out your goal then there are few places better than the Brown Ajah to create a foundation and tools for the generations of the future to use.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena straightens from her crouch and moves back to her seat upon the window, settling gently as she watches the accepted.
Aleera 's lips shift into a broad smile, "If that is my choice, I have no doubt that I would be very happy and find great satisfaction in my work."
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aleera straightens a bit in her seat and then says, "Thank you again for giving some of your time to me today. I truly appreciate it."
Aelrena says 'You are quite welcome.'
Aelrena's lips twitch up slightly at the corners.
Aelrena says 'Is there anything else I can help you with, Aleera?'
Aleera shakes her head and rises up from her chair. She curtseys, a deep bob that lingers at the lowest point, "No, nothing else. Thank you, Aelrena Sedai. Is there anything I might do for you?"
Aelrena ponders life, the universe, and everything.
Aelrena says 'Have Laras send up tea to my rooms please.'
Aelrena says 'Otherwise, that is all.'
Aelrena gestures with her hand.
The door smoothly swings open.
Aleera nods, "It will be done."
Aelrena says 'You're dismissed child.'