A lesson on anger, fear, and knowing oneself

[Sarinda]

Just prior to this scene, Sarinda had sent a pigeon (tell) to Alison Sedai of the White Ajah seeking a chance to meet with her. She was tasked with locating Alison in order to do that. Having failed at finding her within the world, Alison eventually returned to Tar Valon, and Sarinda approaches her in this scene to seek guidance and wisdom on the nature of learning how to be present in the moment even when feeling strong emotions.

Point of view: Sarinda
Main character: Alison
Passerbys: Rikkus, Shiva

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The Warders' Practice Yard
A large expanse of bare ground at least fifty paces across and nearly twice
as long stretches forth, its earth beaten hard. At intervals around it
under the trees stand wooden stands holding quarterstaffs and practice
swords made of strips of wood bound loosely together, and a few real swords
and axes and spears. A large gray stone building lies to the east, home to
the warder students and those warders who are not sharing quarters with
their Aes Sedai in the main Tower structure itself.

A sign hangs on the wall.
[ obvious exits: N E S W ]
Zone: White Tower Ground Floor
Door east: officedoor
An iron lantern hangs from the wall above the gate.
A weapon rack stands on the ground here, ready to store weapons.
Some elaborate figurines spew fresh water into a broad basin here.
Lady Alison Sedai, Logician is standing here, riding a Domani razor.
A warder's student stands here catching his breath.
A warder's student stands here catching his breath.
A grim storyteller reads from a journal.
A warder's student stands here catching his breath.
A warder's student stands here catching his breath.
Coulin the Master of Arms is here teaching his students.
A gray haired weaponsmaster stands nearby.

You sit down and rest your tired bones.

Alison says 'Hi.'

Alison looks up from her book, her left hand with a pen hovering in the air.

Alison puts her glasses up unto her head and studies Sarinda.

Alison looks at you.

You say 'I hope that I am not disturbing you. If it pleases the Light, I would welcome a chance to
speak with you briefly.'

Alison grins beautifully.

Alison says 'Child, if you get to know me. Briefly is going to never cross your mind. I like to
talk.'

You chuckle politely.

You say 'Well, I have a tendency to speak at length, myself. But I am in need of sleep soon, and yet I wanted to at least introduce myself before I retire for the night.'

Alison says 'I am Alison Sedai of the White Ajah.'

You smile warmly.

You touch your hand to your forehead, lips, and heart in greeting.

Alison flips the pen to her right hand and holds it out to you in gesture of hello.

You say 'My name is Sarinda din Rovan, originally of Clan Shodein of the Atha'an Miere and now a Tower Accepted. I am an apprentice to the Red Ajah, and seek their favor.'

Alison says 'That is quite a mouthful.'

You smile warmly.

Alison keeps writing with her right hand as if she just didn’t earlier use a left hand.

You tilt your head curiously.

Alison crosses her legs as she sits, 'Let’s share some tea, sit before you fall over.'

You say 'That is a useful skill, Aes Sedai, writing with both hands.'

You smile happily.

Alison sits down.

Alison says 'Comes in handy in fighting as well.'

You flash a playful grin.

You say 'If it pleases the Light, would you like me to bring some tea for us from the kitchens?'

Alison says 'Tends to throw people of guard if they think I can only use a knife with one hand.'

You nod in agreement.

You say 'Or a spear.'

You chuckle politely.

Alison frowns pulls a knife throws it with her left hand, then pulls another knife and throws it at the exact same spot as the first one.

You blink your dark brown eyes innocently.

Alison says 'A trick a gleeman taught me, 400 years ago.'

You nod solemnly. 'A very nice trick, indeed.'

You ask curiously, 'If it pleases the Light, I was seeking you out but had the most difficult time finding you until I sensed you closer to Cairhien. Would you offer any advice on how to find you again in the future if needed?'

Alison says 'Process of elimination.'

You say 'I eliminated quite a few options and was still unsuccessful.'

You frown.

Alison says 'Knowing there was Seanchan and sul’dam around. With spawn attacking Amathera, odds were low that I would be on the west side of the map.'

Alison says 'I did not narrate I was going to go help Achillies fight there.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'That leaves you areas of Tar Valon, Caemlyn, Cairhien and Tear. Probably Illian.'

You say 'Hmm. If it pleases the Light, I searched all of those with the One Power, and all but Tear in person on horseback.'

Alison says 'Then if you could not locate me via locates. Odds were that I was in a no loc area.
Those are normally criers.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'Thus you are reduced to 4 main crier areas.'

You say 'Ah, I did not know that rooms with the criers might be non-locatable.'

You say 'I thought perhaps Far Madding, and searched there, due to the presence of the Guardian ter'angreal.'

Alison says 'One small piece of information can sometimes alter any logical process.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'I was in Tear.'

You snap your fingers.

Alison grins beautifully.

You say 'I was about to guess Cairhien.'

You chuckle politely.

Alison says 'Tell me about who Sarinda is.'

Alison says 'What makes you, a potential Red, require from a White Ajah sister?'

You say 'Well, I seek you or one of your Sisters at the advice of Jocelyn Sedai, of the Gray.'

Alison eats a strange fruit.

Alison gently eats her fruit as she watches, 'For?'

You say 'She met with me not that long ago for an assessment and determination of my readiness to advance to the station of Tower Accepted.'

You explain, 'During our conversation, I admitted that one of my areas of growth is that I can become overly focused on a topic or issue, and when I fail to achieve a task or goal, at times I can grow angry or irritable.'

You say 'Aes Sedai must comport themselves with peace and serenity. She suggested that I reach out to a White Ajah member to request advice or private lessons on the meditative arts, to develop or enhance more advanced skills of meditation and to find peace even when I might feel anger.'

Alison holds up one finger.

Alison says 'Give me one reason how growing irritable can help you.'

You draw down your thin eyebrows into a frown.

You think for a moment with a pensive expression.

You respond slowly, 'I do not know if you agree, but if it pleases the Light, in my experience I have found that all people experience anger at some point in their lives, and trying to quell it or force it down causes a paradoxical effect. Allowing myself to experience and acknowledge my irritability might serve to cue me that I need to look to my situation to see if something needs to change.'

Alison says 'Exactly.'

Alison says 'I have anger.'

You blink your dark brown eyes innocently.

Alison says 'With zero power over me.'

You nod slowly.

Alison holds her left hand up with thumb and forefinger in o shape.

Alison says 'Emotions are tools'

Alison says 'Not masters over your body.'

Alison says 'When you become irritable about a thing, task, solution. It’s a sign from your body to you. Hey, it’s not solved. Let’s do it differently.'

Alison says 'Flaring that up. With other emotions, decries away from finding the answer and giving power to the tools.'

You ask earnestly, 'But how, precisely, have you found success at experiencing anger without letting it influence you or your actions? That is the part I struggle with.'

Alison leans closer.

Alison says 'Fear controls anger.'

Alison says 'Fear is a base instinct in us that hides behind anger.'

Alison says 'Eliminate what you fear about not solving the issue, then the anger deflates.'

Alison says 'Angry at losing a fight.'

Alison says 'What did you fear about that fight?'

You blush faintly.

Alison says 'Angry at not winning at everything? What did you fear about not winning at everything?'

Alison says 'Each emotion.'

Alison says 'has an underlying power current. We weave lighballs, but underneath it is air, water, fire.'

Alison says 'So here is the how.'

You say 'I do not think myself so prideful that I assume I will always win. I went into the Borderlands to repel the Shadow and fell in combat, but it was one of the most enlightening experiences I have had, because two Gaidin met with me to give advice and counsel after the experience.'

Alison says 'Meditation is being present and examining what is going on at the moment.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'When you lose you win.'

Alison says 'When you win, you lose and win.'

You tilt your head curiously.

Alison says 'Let me use what your example is.'

You say 'That is a fascinating perspective.'

Alison says 'You lost. You got advice. Then go find a safe space.'

Alison says 'And sit, ignore the body. Go into the mind. Run over what was, what happened. What failed.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'Acknowledge it happened. Without acknowledgment, it didn’t happen.'

You get a worn notebook from a backpack.

Alison says 'As you sit and think, you take deep breaths, examine the emotions felt, the actions taken. What other alternatives could’ve been used.'

You begin writing down notes, looking up periodically as you do.

Alison says 'Meditation is just thinking. In a calm manner. Soon that calm manner comes at all time. Not just when sitting.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'Each moment we live and breathe. We think.'

Alison says 'But do we really think?'

You say 'With practice, then, I can live in the moment without judgment, and instead with
awareness.'

Alison says 'Yes.'

Alison says 'There will come a time in your life'

Alison says 'You will have 2 dreadlords attacking you.'

Alison says 'This happened to me.'

You pale.

Alison says 'I was afraid. I was fearful. Scared angry.'

Alison says 'But at the time I put it aside. Flowed into the moment. Put the worries at the back. Dealt with the moment.'

The officedoor is opened from the other side.

Rikkus has arrived from the east.

The officedoor closes quietly.

A Domani razor stops following Alison.
Rikkus starts riding a Domani razor.

Alison beams a smile at Rikkus.

Alison says 'Have it.'

Alison says 'He’s well fed.'

Rikkus hugs Alison.

Alison pats a Domani razor on his head.

Rikkus snickers softly.

You chuckle politely.

Rikkus looks at a Domani razor.

Rikkus starts riding a Domani razor.

Rikkus grins evilly.

Rikkus says 'Thanks Aes Sedai.'

Alison says 'So these two dreadlords.'

Rikkus says 'I’ll bring it back.'

You nod at Alison.

Rikkus leaves south riding a Domani razor.

Alison says 'They might have reps about killing others a lot.'

Alison says 'That will flit across your mind.'

Alison says 'Their formidableness will attempt to control your fear.'

Alison says 'But in that moment. They are just as afraid of you as them. Just you must remember that.'

You blink your dark brown eyes innocently.

Alison says 'Fades. Fearful.'

Alison says 'Male channelers. The louder, the more fearful they are.'

Alison says 'Those that don’t control their moments will be controlled by their moments.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'We defeated the dreadlords.'

You whistle appreciatively.

Alison says 'I personally once killed a spawn and posted the log. A solo fight.'

Alison says 'It was known that this is one big fighter.'

Alison says 'Yet he died like a small bunny eaten by a wolf'

You flash a playful grin.

Alison says 'No matter what. Always remember, when we do our Aes Sedai test, we do it naked. Now that knowledge alone should empower you to know that. Even naked, we are formidable.'

You say 'If it pleases the Light, I would love to read your battle notes, or better yet, spar you
sometime to learn from you directly.'

Shiva has arrived from the south.

You sense Shiva connecting to the True Source.

You sense Shiva is channeling saidar.

Alison hugs Shiva.

Shiva gestures briefly at Shiva, who now appears more impressive somehow.

You stand up.

Shiva smiles happily.

You curtsey before Shiva.

Shiva nods at you.

Shiva looks at Alison.

You say 'I will heed your counsel, Aes Sedai.'

Alison says 'Search the forums for Alison. Scroll through it.'

You nod in agreement.

You raise your right hand to your lips. 'It is agreed, under the Light.'

Alison says 'See what you see. Some is good some is bad. Like life.'

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'Have you fought Rahr yet?'

You say 'Rahr?'

Alison says 'Formerly known as the other one.'

Alison says 'Can’t remember the name.'

Shiva says 'Rhahr'

Alison says 'Ya.'

You shake your head.

Alison says 'I’ve been beaten by that one. And I have beaten that one.'

Shiva says 'She isn’t very active across characters of late.'

Shiva mutters to herself in complete disgust.

You say 'I have fought against Vannor while he was still a darkfriend, before he gained the title of dreadlord from the Father of Storms.'

Alison says 'In the grand wheel of time. Victories and losses are pointless. It is what matters now.'

Shiva says 'He’s about as scary as a handful of grass.'

Alison falls down laughing.

Alison says 'Word.'

Alison says 'When he makes me blink. Then I’ll consider him.'

Shiva smirks.

You say 'I fought against Vannor again recently in a group, and was out-timing him for part of it,but I lost my log.'

Shiva nods in agreement.

Shiva says 'If you kill him, mail me and I shall find a fitting reward.'

You say 'I fell in that combat, but due to my own mistakes from which I have already taken close notes and plan to fix.'

You smile happily.

Alison says 'Being Red is going to require you to fight them almost daily.'

You nod in agreement.

Rikkus has arrived from the south, riding a Domani razor.

Rikkus stops riding a Domani razor.

Alison says 'Take each fight. As is. Do it. Move on.'

Rikkus leaves south.

You nod in agreement.

Alison says 'Lose gear, get more.'

Alison says 'Celebrate wins, celebrate losses.'

You say 'I have been tasked with collecting the heads of five dreadlords or myrddraal for Galina Sedai.'

You say 'I hope to make Vannor one of them.'

Shiva nods in agreement.

Your eyes darken.

Alison says 'Easy.'

You stifle a yawn.

Alison says 'What is Sarinda’s core value? The one thing that drives her.'

Alison says 'Just answer that. Then I’ll postpone the rest of this conversation.'

You say 'Perseverance.'

Alison nods in agreement.

Alison says 'Good.'

Alison says 'You may live to be 1000 one day. In that time. What will she say to you today? No need to answer.'

Alison says 'Any final questions?'

Shiva says 'Alright, back to sleep.'

Shiva waves.

You curtsey before Shiva.

Alison waves.

You smile happily.

Shiva leaves south.

You say 'Are there any non-locatable rooms in this city? Or ones in which we cannot channel
saidar?'

You say 'Your comment about the crier has me thinking about it.'

Alison says 'Ha.'

Alison says '2 qps if you can find me 3 without the crier one.'

You grin evilly.

You raise your right hand to your lips. 'It is agreed, under the Light.'

Alison says 'And any additional information you want to add.'

Alison hugs you.

You say '3 in this city?'

You say 'or 3 in the world?'

Alison says 'Surprise me.'

You smile happily.

Alison says 'It was a pleasure to meet you. May the Light bless you, Sarinda.'

You say 'Thank you for your time, and your wisdom, Aes Sedai.'

You say 'May the Light illumine you, and see you safe to your journey's end.'

Alison says 'Pfft there is no fun in safe.'

You chuckle politely.

You say 'It is just a customary saying among my people.'

Alison says 'Sleep well.'

You curtsey to your audience.

[Aloisa]

sarinda awarded 4 qps
Alison awarded 2 qps

Say receive at silver-haired