by Calisto » Wed Nov 06, 2024 12:27 pm
The snow and the wind coming in through the open window chilled the room. The nearly extinguished fire in the hearth was doing little to beat back the cold. Someone not lost in the past would have stood up and placed a few more logs on the fire, or maybe even used saidar to give more life to the flames. The woman sitting in the chair was not here, however. The other woman in the room, standing near the door with her Gaidin, was a yellow Aes Sedai. The man was there for her protection.
The woman in the chair was Saldaen after all, the sword resting against the chair leg within easy reach was not a pretty bauble she wore. Her dress was white, with seven narrow bands of color at the hem. The mug of ale was seemingly forgotten sitting on the table next to her. Her long red hair done up in a tight complex braid to keep it locked in place if she had to move suddenly. Long before she began training by her older sister in the One Power she learned the knife, then the spear, then the sword. Everyone along the blight border learned how to fight. Even centuries after she had written her name in the book of Novices she had kept up her training. In her life the sword came first, the power was always second.
The nearly ageless look to her face spoke of years spent enveloped in the mysteries of the One Power, but to those who truly held the ageless look they spoke of other stories. Few knew her name now, hushed whispers of the older Aes Sedai pointed in dusty texts where her name was from centuries past.
The reasoning for her absence for so long was a concern to some. When the Hall was asked they gave vague answers, in truth she had not been the only one sent out into the world still wearing an Accepteds dress. Seven other young girls had been sent, and the reasoning given even to the girls was vague and unhelpful. These were orders from the Amyrlin to the Hall, send five full sisters and eight Accepted. They can bring one of the guards with them, no Gaidin. Aes Sedai can bring theirs, no one stays together.
Five and eight, cast out from the white
Alone they must travel, to the wide world they go
Come back, one by one with answers for the unknown
"That was the only reason they gave me." She said softly as she watched the flickering flames slowly die.
“Why thirteen?” The woman asked, she adjusted the yellow shawl around her shoulders to help fight back the cold but neither she nor her warder moved to close the window.
“I’ve spent years wondering that very question. Thirteen, such a dangerous number for us. Thirteen can turn anyone to the Shadow. Some plot by forces unseen, or a prophecy used in a wrong way.” Calisto said softly. “My… centuries spent away were some of the best and worst in my life. I have scars now that will never heal, but wisdom and knowledge that one can’t find sitting within the shining walls. I’ve come back for, perhaps not peace but a chance to find tranquility again.”
The other woman made a gesture to her warder and slowly marched forward, Aes Sedai calm radiating out from her. Taking the other chair she sat and more then glanced at the sword sitting next to Calisto. “The power can be taken away from us in battle.” She said after a few more moments.
Calisto nodded, “Difficult habit to break, it’s saved my life more than once.”
“What was it like, during your travels?”
“Frightening at first. When I was young, I thought I knew the world after I left home and came here. Little did I understand just how much I did not know. Devin helped, he was the young guard I asked to join me. Neither of us expected that friendship to turn into a life together, a beautiful life.” Her smile then was warm and glowing, at the end part of it turned sadder.
“That’s the curse of those of us with longer lives, ch..”She stopped herself, “Difficult habit to break.” She said and chuckled lightly as Calisto smiled. “It’s also why few chose to have families, when they age we often do not. We are left with the scars, but also the memories.”
Calisto looked down at the great serpent ring on her left hand; another ring had sat there, it now nestled in a chain around her neck intertwined with its twin. Her right hand reached up and pressed her dress against both rings, the movement and reason was not lost to the other woman.
“Don’t let those memories drown you. You have to find your own balance if you are to become a sister. That is your duty now, you can heal others easily enough. You have the talent and the will, but you need to heal yourself.”
After a few minutes of silence she continued on almost whispering as the memories came back from the early days. “The days stretched into weeks as we traveled. We went north, to the lands of my birth. It had only been a decade since I had swore myself to the White Tower. We stayed there for a few months but winter was coming so we headed south to not be trapped by the winter storms.” She took a long pull from her mug as she gathered her thoughts before continuing. “We were aimlessly wandering for a while, then he noticed we had been traveling more and more in the direction of his home. So, he showed me off to his family. I was so overcome with how large his family was I missed the subtle signs. He had fallen for me by now but I was too blind to see it.”
She smiled and shook her head, “It took almost three more years for me to realize what he had come to mean to me. Another ten before we were tied together, then four more before my daughter was born. Five more for my son, he was not planned. By then we had settled in a small village along the spine of the world, I worked as a healer. The local healer taught me a few things about herbs and ointments so I could use them in combination with saidar. The years ticked by, becoming decades. He grew older, and I did not.”
She stared into the flames for a long time before she continued, the other woman content to let her work out the memories on her own time, in her own way. “He could barely walk when he decided it was time to go home, he wanted to see his sisters and brothers one last time. There was a tree in his village where we got married . One beautiful spring morning he was lying against me just letting time flow by and he said, ‘This is fine, this is fine.’ I felt him breathe in deeply a few moments later then one last breath out and he was gone.”
She wiped a tear from her eye as she remembered his deep brown eyes and his smile. “The village had a family plot ready. He was buried one spring afternoon, never once in the sixty years we spent together did he ever regret not becoming a Gaidin.”
“What about your children?” The yellow asked into the silence, she needed to keep Calisto talking. It would help the healing process to get it out into the open.
“Aeluna, a short woman with her fathers sense of humor and her mothers temper. Always the prankster, even into old age she loved picking on her brother, and her mother for that matter. She never married, she always said she had just not met the right person. She passed away from illness eight years after Devin did. My son Maecicim, named after his grandfather. Apparently some great world renowned explorer, but I’ve never found mention of him in any books.”
The other woman spit tea after she suddenly laughed, Calisto hid the smile as she had not completely meant to cause the other woman to make a mess.
“Mae for short, he stayed with me for many more years. I decided to travel then, we bought a coach and made our way west deep into the Arad Domain. This was decades before the Seanchan showed up, and visited Tanchico, Katar, Bandar Eban. He looked at me one day and I knew it was time to go home. It was winter, almost the last day of the year when he woke from the dream. He was buried with his father and sister. The last words both of them said were, This is fine, this is fine.”
She nodded slowly, then said. “Then the decades turned into centuries as I traveled alone. At some point I took a ship and sailed the seas, visited tiny islands off the sea of storms. Made my way up the western shore to Worlds end. The ship captain was more than happy to sail where I wanted for the amount of gold I was giving him. I knew Kayacun was not far inland and I had a sickness for home I could not shake. So, I left yet another group behind and walked home. My family had long since passed on, distant relatives were there but they did not know me. A few seemed to have a glimmer of recognition of my name but nothing more. I was a single ship, lost at sea.” She said quietly.
“It was only a few more months before I found myself standing outside the gates of Tar Valon for the first time in a very long time.”
“You’ve come home, at long last.” The yellow said softly. Her eyes held warmth as she watched Calisto.
Calisto nodded and spoke, “I never found whatever answer they wanted us to find, I don’t even remember the names of the others they sent out. If I could go back in time, however, and do it all over again knowing or not knowing what would come. I would do it again.”
“It was a good life, now it’s time for the next chapter I feel.” This is fine, this is fine. She thought to herself as the other woman smiled at her.
The snow and the wind coming in through the open window chilled the room. The nearly extinguished fire in the hearth was doing little to beat back the cold. Someone not lost in the past would have stood up and placed a few more logs on the fire, or maybe even used saidar to give more life to the flames. The woman sitting in the chair was not here, however. The other woman in the room, standing near the door with her Gaidin, was a yellow Aes Sedai. The man was there for her protection.
The woman in the chair was Saldaen after all, the sword resting against the chair leg within easy reach was not a pretty bauble she wore. Her dress was white, with seven narrow bands of color at the hem. The mug of ale was seemingly forgotten sitting on the table next to her. Her long red hair done up in a tight complex braid to keep it locked in place if she had to move suddenly. Long before she began training by her older sister in the One Power she learned the knife, then the spear, then the sword. Everyone along the blight border learned how to fight. Even centuries after she had written her name in the book of Novices she had kept up her training. In her life the sword came first, the power was always second.
The nearly ageless look to her face spoke of years spent enveloped in the mysteries of the One Power, but to those who truly held the ageless look they spoke of other stories. Few knew her name now, hushed whispers of the older Aes Sedai pointed in dusty texts where her name was from centuries past.
The reasoning for her absence for so long was a concern to some. When the Hall was asked they gave vague answers, in truth she had not been the only one sent out into the world still wearing an Accepteds dress. Seven other young girls had been sent, and the reasoning given even to the girls was vague and unhelpful. These were orders from the Amyrlin to the Hall, send five full sisters and eight Accepted. They can bring one of the guards with them, no Gaidin. Aes Sedai can bring theirs, no one stays together.
[i]Five and eight, cast out from the white
Alone they must travel, to the wide world they go
Come back, one by one with answers for the unknown[/i]
"That was the only reason they gave me." She said softly as she watched the flickering flames slowly die.
“Why thirteen?” The woman asked, she adjusted the yellow shawl around her shoulders to help fight back the cold but neither she nor her warder moved to close the window.
“I’ve spent years wondering that very question. Thirteen, such a dangerous number for us. Thirteen can turn anyone to the Shadow. Some plot by forces unseen, or a prophecy used in a wrong way.” Calisto said softly. “My… centuries spent away were some of the best and worst in my life. I have scars now that will never heal, but wisdom and knowledge that one can’t find sitting within the shining walls. I’ve come back for, perhaps not peace but a chance to find tranquility again.”
The other woman made a gesture to her warder and slowly marched forward, Aes Sedai calm radiating out from her. Taking the other chair she sat and more then glanced at the sword sitting next to Calisto. “The power can be taken away from us in battle.” She said after a few more moments.
Calisto nodded, “Difficult habit to break, it’s saved my life more than once.”
“What was it like, during your travels?”
“Frightening at first. When I was young, I thought I knew the world after I left home and came here. Little did I understand just how much I did not know. Devin helped, he was the young guard I asked to join me. Neither of us expected that friendship to turn into a life together, a beautiful life.” Her smile then was warm and glowing, at the end part of it turned sadder.
“That’s the curse of those of us with longer lives, ch..”She stopped herself, “Difficult habit to break.” She said and chuckled lightly as Calisto smiled. “It’s also why few chose to have families, when they age we often do not. We are left with the scars, but also the memories.”
Calisto looked down at the great serpent ring on her left hand; another ring had sat there, it now nestled in a chain around her neck intertwined with its twin. Her right hand reached up and pressed her dress against both rings, the movement and reason was not lost to the other woman.
“Don’t let those memories drown you. You have to find your own balance if you are to become a sister. That is your duty now, you can heal others easily enough. You have the talent and the will, but you need to heal yourself.”
After a few minutes of silence she continued on almost whispering as the memories came back from the early days. “The days stretched into weeks as we traveled. We went north, to the lands of my birth. It had only been a decade since I had swore myself to the White Tower. We stayed there for a few months but winter was coming so we headed south to not be trapped by the winter storms.” She took a long pull from her mug as she gathered her thoughts before continuing. “We were aimlessly wandering for a while, then he noticed we had been traveling more and more in the direction of his home. So, he showed me off to his family. I was so overcome with how large his family was I missed the subtle signs. He had fallen for me by now but I was too blind to see it.”
She smiled and shook her head, “It took almost three more years for me to realize what he had come to mean to me. Another ten before we were tied together, then four more before my daughter was born. Five more for my son, he was not planned. By then we had settled in a small village along the spine of the world, I worked as a healer. The local healer taught me a few things about herbs and ointments so I could use them in combination with saidar. The years ticked by, becoming decades. He grew older, and I did not.”
She stared into the flames for a long time before she continued, the other woman content to let her work out the memories on her own time, in her own way. “He could barely walk when he decided it was time to go home, he wanted to see his sisters and brothers one last time. There was a tree in his village where we got married . One beautiful spring morning he was lying against me just letting time flow by and he said, ‘This is fine, this is fine.’ I felt him breathe in deeply a few moments later then one last breath out and he was gone.”
She wiped a tear from her eye as she remembered his deep brown eyes and his smile. “The village had a family plot ready. He was buried one spring afternoon, never once in the sixty years we spent together did he ever regret not becoming a Gaidin.”
“What about your children?” The yellow asked into the silence, she needed to keep Calisto talking. It would help the healing process to get it out into the open.
“Aeluna, a short woman with her fathers sense of humor and her mothers temper. Always the prankster, even into old age she loved picking on her brother, and her mother for that matter. She never married, she always said she had just not met the right person. She passed away from illness eight years after Devin did. My son Maecicim, named after his grandfather. Apparently some great world renowned explorer, but I’ve never found mention of him in any books.”
The other woman spit tea after she suddenly laughed, Calisto hid the smile as she had not completely meant to cause the other woman to make a mess.
“Mae for short, he stayed with me for many more years. I decided to travel then, we bought a coach and made our way west deep into the Arad Domain. This was decades before the Seanchan showed up, and visited Tanchico, Katar, Bandar Eban. He looked at me one day and I knew it was time to go home. It was winter, almost the last day of the year when he woke from the dream. He was buried with his father and sister. The last words both of them said were, This is fine, this is fine.”
She nodded slowly, then said. “Then the decades turned into centuries as I traveled alone. At some point I took a ship and sailed the seas, visited tiny islands off the sea of storms. Made my way up the western shore to Worlds end. The ship captain was more than happy to sail where I wanted for the amount of gold I was giving him. I knew Kayacun was not far inland and I had a sickness for home I could not shake. So, I left yet another group behind and walked home. My family had long since passed on, distant relatives were there but they did not know me. A few seemed to have a glimmer of recognition of my name but nothing more. I was a single ship, lost at sea.” She said quietly.
“It was only a few more months before I found myself standing outside the gates of Tar Valon for the first time in a very long time.”
“You’ve come home, at long last.” The yellow said softly. Her eyes held warmth as she watched Calisto.
Calisto nodded and spoke, “I never found whatever answer they wanted us to find, I don’t even remember the names of the others they sent out. If I could go back in time, however, and do it all over again knowing or not knowing what would come. I would do it again.”
“It was a good life, now it’s time for the next chapter I feel.” This is fine, this is fine. She thought to herself as the other woman smiled at her.